It’s mainly pride. They do not want to humble themselves to admit that Tesla has something that they need, because that would legitimize them, which is something they want to avoid.
A big part of it is the patent system and the belief that through having exclusivity, there are big profits to be had. A business as big as a car company, even a small one like Tesla, is a mass of very powerful political forces, pulling in a lot of different directions at once. An example:
In 1980, IBM came up with what came to be called the Industry Standard Architecture. They wanted it to be proprietary, but Bill Gates convinced IBM exec Don Estridge that it would be even better if they set a standard and encouraged other manufacturers to build parts for it, clones of it and write software for it. Estridge had had a few wins within IBM and was on the way up politically, and was able to convince his bosses that Gates might be on to something. It was not an easy decision for them: IBM had built itself a huge monopoly, and by being a little bit incompatible, they had been doing a good job of keeping it, for decades. They were many times as powerful and wealthy as ALL the rest of the computer business at the time. But Gates proved to be right and as a consequence, IBM made
much more money from the IBMPC than they had ever imagined and Estridge became the heir apparent for all of IBM. The way Gates described it is that he'd rather have 25 cents from each of a million machines than all the income from a thousand machines that generate $250 each. even though it's the same amount of money the million machine market has a much bigger growth opportunity.
Estridge was killed in a plane crash in 1985, and amazingly quickly, the old monopolist forces within IBM rose to prominence. They decided that they must have proprietary rights to the next generation of personal computer. The product they came up with was the "media channel architecture", MCA. This was superior to ISA in a lot of ways, but it was designed to be difficult to clone or build components for without expensive cooperation from IBM. It was not really a failure, but it separated IBM from the rapid advances going on in the world of personal computers and it took IBM from being completely dominant in an industry the way few companies have ever been, to being an also-ran.
Being a monopoly is a good way to make a lot of money, because you can control the market to some degree and you are insulated from the consequences of many of your mistakes. Pretty much the only way to beat a monopoly is to have an advantage that is so big that the monopoly can't adapt fast enough. So conservative executives try to get a monopoly, and having a proprietary interface is one of the tools they use. Smart executives like Gates and Estridge understand that this is a trap. They still do it if they can, but they have the mental flexibility to take the big leap to the new paradigm when the need arises. There are plenty of these people out there--you don't get to be a top executive in a big company without being very, very smart--but there are a lot of big company executives who inherited their positions and are smart politically, but don't have the farsight of someone like Bill Gates.
So: it may feel like pride from the outside, but to the people doing it, it's what they think is hard-nosed business. I am sure are people within all of the car companies who are watching what Tesla is doing and trying to convince their management to follow it. But Elon Musk has made it a little more difficult, by insisting that they use his front-loaded pricing model for the superchargers. This, unfortunately, is a little bit of the same proprietaryness that's holding back the big boys.
--Snortybartfast