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One reason, this year anyway, is that the 18” Aero package comes with Sottozero 3’s ( according to Mt Kisco Tesla dealership ). The package used to come with series 2’s, which don’t get great reviews. The total cost is competitive with sourcing wheels / tires elsewhere. Finally the Aeros are reported to yield 4-8% efficiency gain...which you’ll appreciate in cold weather months.
All that said I’m seeing in other threads here that the Aero covers are no longer included in the wheel/tire package...so they’ll set you back another 120ish
 
Given your criteria and priority of wet over snow, I think the Michelin CrossClimate+ would beat all that you named.
I haven't seen any direct comparison of the all season CrossClimate+ on snow and ice versus either studless winter tires like the R3 or performance winter tires like the Sottozero 3. Usually, there's a big difference in snow and ice when going to true winter tires.

I haven't driven R3s, but I have driven Blizzaks, Xice, and Sottozero 3. I'd say the Sottozero 3 gives up 10% to 20% to the Blizzak or Xice on snow or ice, but it is much better in the wet and has dramatically better steering response and feel.