You're suddenly well off, your lifelong friends are not. Now what?

[Cape Coddess]

Good articles above. Especially the one entitled "How to talk about money" that says just start. And I think they're talking about relationships, not friendships.

Since all my friends are constantly updated (by me, like a game score) on TSLA's ups and downs, lately when I go out and I want to treat and they protest I just say "no no, I'm not paying for it, Tesla is". It works great, and nobody argues. We all feel like we've been treated. I say the same thing when asked about how I paid for my model S. Tesla paid for it.

 

[Featsbeyond50]

So not that I don’t like kettlebells, burpees, ultramarathons... I mean my profile pic is from a 24-hour race... but about that money thing.

I’m told there was a big reddit poll on this: would you take $1M if it meant every traffic light you ever came to was red?

On reflection, I think questions like this say something about one’s relationship with money. I guess you mostly have to be past a certain threshold below which $1M is a truly life-altering amount of money and any such decision is a no-brainer, but if you are, how do you value the cash vs time, stress, etc.?

(Personally, I’d pay $1M if it meant every light I ever came to was green. I don’t know how but I’d find a way! My 3P would be sad to miss all those starts, though. Perhaps best that I don’t have the option. Though, it might be the only way I’d qualify for Tesla insurance...)

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is how you do humblebrag. Well done, Sir.

 

[astrotoy]

I've just found this thread. However, I have made a few comments on related threads, about retirement and using Roth IRA's for estate planning. A few observations.

We are now in our mid '70's and Tesla and TSLA came into our lives in 2013. We had both retired and established our standard of living years before. So the run up of TSLA stock has not changed the way we live although it has been fun. We don't talk with our friends about our investments, particularly TSLA. No need to cause jealousy.

Long ago, we decided that choosing friends who had less money that we did was much better than having friends who had more money than we did. We generally lived at a similar standard of living as our friends. We didn't need to spend money to keep up with the Joneses and typically do not engage in conspicuous consumption. Raising our daughter at that level meant that she developed expenditure habits where she doesn't have the need to living an extravagant life style.

We found that loaning money to a relative or friend is an almost certain way of losing that relationship or friendship. Better to give the money away than loan it. One exception I found is that you can loan money if you take physical possession of some collateral of equal or higher value as the loan. So if the loan is not repaid, you keep the collateral and the loan and collateral are never mentioned again. You don't feel cheated and your relationship or friendship can remains intact.

Both my wife and I had really fine administrative assistants who worked for us. After we retired we kept in touch with them. Neither was wealthy (nor destitute) and both had dreamed of taking the vacation trip of a lifetime (one to London and the other to Italy). So, a few years ago we gave each of them $10,000 and told each of them that this was a present for them, and the only stipulation was that they use it to take that dream vacation - not to give it away, etc. It made us both feel very good.

 

[Stinger63]

Great thread, if only because it shows the many way we deal with a sudden cash bonanza. Some thoughts though... Until you've cashed out, you're only paper rich. Tesla could lose 50% of its value and so would your wealth.
I'm in my 50s, my wife's an executive earning a good living, we moved abroad 12 months ago but l lost hope to find work after covid hit the Asian economies. My future looked bleak when I gave trading a try. We had sold the house and, with the proceeds, I started day trading Tesla after a friend kept nagging me about it. He had bought 10 years ago and was getting paper rich, like many of you. I didn't believe in Tesla's car business until I realize that Tesla is so much more, but that's a different subject.
I started trading in March this year and it has changed my life, still coming to terms with the implications.
Except for the last 10 years when I managed to hold a job that didn't bore me after a couple of years and where I succeeded in earning a 6 figure income by the time we moved abroad, I'd spent life living for the experiences, traveling the world and living in many countries for long periods of time. I'd always manage to survive, but always feeling financial uncertainty around the corner. Yet, I'd made my choices and was at peace with myself. Until marriage and child came along, which led to the stable job.
In a few short months I've earned what I did in the last 10 years and by the end of this year, probably more than I've earned in 30+ years combined!
I have friends from all walks of life. Some in Europe who live happily on less than minimum wage, others multi millionaires with dozens of properties around the world and many somewhere in between. I'm relatively well educated with a couple master's degrees and can easily adjust to any social groups and have never hidden the fact that I was more cicada than ant. Today, I don't hide that I've found financial freedom either. Friends don't care, they're happy for me, as long as I remain the same person. And if there were some who couldn't adjust, it's on them.
I just bought an apartment on a Mediterranean island, told friends around the globe that they are welcome anytime.
Money is only important for what you do with it, for me, for family and friends, for goals and feel goods... It's definitely not something to take too seriously and don't think for a second that you're better because you've stumbled on a pot of gold. I learned early in life that it's much more difficult to adjust to losing wealth than it is to make it.

 

[jkirkwood001]

To be honest I hadn’t the faintest idea where to start. Your mention of psychologist/therapist is the first time anyone’s ever recommended anything like that to me, so I feel pretty ignorant. There’s also financial execution worries, and not making mistakes there.

I’ve rationalized everything through the faux lens of: If I don’t sell, I haven’t made anything, therefore I have nothing to worry about until I sell. None of my family or friends need know anything until then. I planned on holding at least 2-5 more years, but eventually I’ll have to make a series of live altering decisions that have both material and perceptual impacts. Eventually I’ll need professional help because I’m not smart enough to make a decision of this magnitude in a bubble. Until then I simply plan on being a fly on the TMC wall, make sure TSLA continues to execute, and maybe have easier decisions to make down the road.

FWIW, IMHO, for general personal counseling - i.e. not for a specific mental illness or historical trauma - I'd recommend CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). In layperson's terms, in CBT you work with the therapist to understand what stresses you have, why you have them, and then develop strategies on how you can actively reduce your stress around them.

For me, my biggest stresses have to do with other people's expectations. I fear (or expect) they'll hate or resent me for doing x. So in CBT, you learn a) that people generally won't have your worst, feared reaction, and b) here's what you can do to get less worked up about it and be happier.

In life, if you have no expectations, you can never be disappointed! How cool is that?

Hope this helps, @BLSmith2112 !

 

[jkirkwood001]

... can easily adjust to any social groups and have never hidden the fact that I was more cicada than ant. Today, I don't hide that I've found financial freedom either.

Thanks for this, @Stinger63 (I'm also a 1963 baby Anyway, besides your interesting story, I've never heard that expression, "more cicada than ant". What the heck does that mean?

 

[Stinger63]

Thanks for this, @Stinger63 (I'm also a 1963 baby Anyway, besides your interesting story, I've never heard that expression, "more cicada than ant". What the heck does that mean?

Jean de la Fontaine, 17th century French fabulist. Among many of his fables is one of my favorites, " The Cicada and the Ant", a must read.

 

[Spacep0d]

Lots of inspiring stories here.

I'm new at investing, but I'm interested in buying TSLA when it splits. I have around 20k set aside to invest. Anyone think it'd be wise to jump in with both feet? How about one foot? Advice is welcome!

 

[Mich]

Lots of inspiring stories here.

I'm new at investing, but I'm interested in buying TSLA when it splits. I have around 20k set aside to invest. Anyone think it'd be wise to jump in with both feet? How about one foot? Advice is welcome!

This is the wrong thread for this question. But if you ask in this forum the answer will be depending on who replies one foot, both foot or all foot from your family + options + margin. Be warned, it's a very good source for information here but don't make decisions based on individuals replying.

 

[Stinger63]

Jean de la Fontaine, 17th century French fabulist. Among many of his fables is one of my favorites, " The Cicada and the Ant", a must read.

My mistake, the English translation is The Ant and the Grasshopper.

 

[HankLloydRight]

Lots of inspiring stories here.

I'm new at investing, but I'm interested in buying TSLA when it splits. I have around 20k set aside to invest. Anyone think it'd be wise to jump in with both feet? How about one foot? Advice is welcome!

Why would you want to wait until it splits? Why not now?

 

[Spacep0d]

Why would you want to wait until it splits? Why not now?

Isn't the stock still over $2100 per share?

 

[Spacep0d]

This is the wrong thread for this question. But if you ask in this forum the answer will be depending on who replies one foot, both foot or all foot from your family + options + margin. Be warned, it's a very good source for information here but don't make decisions based on individuals replying.

Okay, thanks!

 

[vikings123]

Isn't the stock still over $2100 per share?

It does not matter. To keep things simple let’s assume TSLA price is 2000$ per share now and will be 400$ per share on Monday9it’s a 5:1 split). A stock split does not affect the fundamentals of a company. The market cap remains the same and your slice of the pie remains the same.

Your 20K will buy 10 shares today or 50 shares on Monday. The 10 shares you buy today will be adjusted by your broker and on Monday you will have 50 shares. Nobody can get predict what happens tomorrow or on Monday but it’s a new bull market. You can also do half and half. Buy 10K worth of shares tomorrow and another 10K worth of shares on Monday.

 

[Spacep0d]

It does not matter. To keep things simple let’s assume TSLA price is 2000$ per share now and will be 400$ per share on Monday9it’s a 5:1 split). A stock split does not affect the fundamentals of a company. The market cap remains the same and your slice of the pie remains the same.

Your 20K will buy 10 shares today or 50 shares on Monday. The 10 shares you buy today will be adjusted by your broker and on Monday you will have 50 shares. Nobody can get predict what happens tomorrow or on Monday but it’s a new bull market. You can also do half and half. Buy 10K worth of shares tomorrow and another 10K worth of shares on Monday.

Good points, thank you!

 

[HankLloydRight]

Also, due to the weirdness of human nature, when a stock splits and is "more affordable" it tends to draw in more buyers who thought they couldn't buy before at the pre-split price (which is a fallacy, at least in the US and other countries where you can buy fractional shares).

But a stock split is exactly the same as exchanging a $100 bill for 5 $20 bills -- you still have $100! But since instead of one $100 bill, you have 5 $20 bills, people somehow think the $20 bills are "more affordable" which increases demand and pushes the post-split price even higher.

So if you're interested in buying TSLA, on paper there's no difference pre- or post-split. But if you by pre-split, you might just be able to ride (for a short time) the run up post-split.

(Disclaimer: If you buy now and TSLA tanks post-split, well, that's on you. Anything could happen. )

 

[ammulder]

Also, due to the weirdness of human nature, when a stock splits and is "more affordable" it tends to draw in more buyers who thought they couldn't buy before at the pre-split price (which is a fallacy, at least in the US and other countries where you can buy fractional shares).

Well, as a counter-example... I use ETrade, I like ETrade, I'm used to ETrade, and ETrade doesn't offer fractional shares. I'm not going to change brokerages just for that. While I can afford a share of TSLA, I have custodial accounts for my kids, and I feel a lot better putting $500 at a time into those than $2k, especially since there are four of them.

So it'll be drawing us in for 8 shares that we "couldn't buy before at the pre-split price" on Monday.

Here's hoping there's a dip! (Just a quickie would be fine.

 

[Spacep0d]

Also, due to the weirdness of human nature, when a stock splits and is "more affordable" it tends to draw in more buyers who thought they couldn't buy before at the pre-split price (which is a fallacy, at least in the US and other countries where you can buy fractional shares).

But a stock split is exactly the same as exchanging a $100 bill for 5 $20 bills -- you still have $100! But since instead of one $100 bill, you have 5 $20 bills, people somehow think the $20 bills are "more affordable" which increases demand and pushes the post-split price even higher.

So if you're interested in buying TSLA, on paper there's no difference pre- or post-split. But if you by pre-split, you might just be able to ride (for a short time) the run up post-split.

(Disclaimer: If you buy now and TSLA tanks post-split, well, that's on you. Anything could happen. )

The logic is rock solid, but buying one share for $2100 feels way less awesome than buying 5 for $420. I can more precisely spend money in smaller increments than in larger, where I may get stuck in between if I can't move to the next number higher.

$420

 

[Featsbeyond50]

Long ago, we decided that choosing friends who had less money that we did was much better than having friends who had more money than we did

I'm envisioning four couples in a Tuesday night bowling league who later figure out they're all rich and could have been sharing a suite for Niner games.