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You posted it in the COMEDY category but I thought it was a bit racy Sorry ... best I could do. Mind you, your line was good - "Fastest car I've ever owned, Come on Elon, its a bit slow off the mark"
Nice little toy that Draggy, not come across that before. Might be worth a link in your video description?
I think the USA timings are with a one-foot-rollout, probably for the reason you describe.
Are you doing stamp-on-accelerator, or pedal-dance-launch? Not sure if the pedal dance is available on 75 (I presume the "I want my Mommy" mode isn't - that's the press-and-hold override screen button for even higher performance)
Ages since I've done the pedal-dance, from memory it is:
Press and continue to hold brake pedal
Press accelerator to the floor and release
You are still pressing the brake, right?
Release that when you are ready to go (there's probably a timeout limit)
Lots of discussion in these forums about this , but certainly the non-P models do not launch from a standstill like the P models do - they have a bit of a "laggy" throttle feel. Hence the comparatively pedestrian 0-30 time.