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Brand new MYLR, no AP, TC, SC

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Picked up a new MYLR today and soon after hitting the road, the car immediately lost the ability to use cruise control, autopilot, vehicle hold, regenerative braking, stability control, automatic vehicle hole, lane departure, emergency braking, and traction control. Already tried a hard and soft reboot and recalibrating vision.

Anyone have any ideas to fix it besides waiting for service?
 
Drive to Calibrate Cameras
Model Y must maneuver with precision when Autopilot features are being used. Therefore, before some features can be used for the first time or after some types of service repairs, cameras must complete a self-calibration process. For your convenience, the touchscreen displays a progress indicator.

When calibration is complete, Autopilot features are available for use. Calibration typically completes after driving 20-25 miles (32-40 km), but the distance varies depending on road and environmental conditions.