Surprising wiper voice commands

[DMBM3]

FYI... “Turn down the f***ing wipers” actually works! And apparently the latest version of firmware 2020.48.10 still hasn’t improved my wiper experience.

It’s the only minor gripe about my otherwise flawless 2020 LR AWD so far.

 

[jjrandorin]

So does verbally setting them to a speed ("set wipers to auto" / Set wipers to speed X")

 

[Darmie]

And on a lighter note the command, "My balls are cold" will in fact warm them up.

 

[skygraff]

Had the same experience (without asterisks), last night!

Of course, in a useless effort, attempted to provide a bug report about how the auto wipers run too fast/often in light rain to the point of dry wiping and, as usual, the system thought I was commanding the wipers to max speed. Oh well.

So, side note, when the voice commands for wipers work, does anybody know how to set them to each of the levels? Auto is pretty straight forward and "low" or "one" does the bottom intermittent while various things raise it one level but I can't figure out how to command low/high continuous wiping or high intermittent wiping. I've tried asking for wipers to the number of hash marks but that doesn't work at all.

As it is, if I get tired of the auto wipers (which have gotten better), I'll turn them off and use the mist button as necessary or use low intermittent until there's enough droplets to warrant turning auto back on. Even though I'd like the other modes, I guess I don't generally need them.

 

[skygraff]

And on a lighter note the command, "My balls are cold" will in fact warm them up.

Have you tried, "my balls need bacon"?

 

[UncertainTimes]

Later imma try
Turn down the wipers by 69%
Increase the speed by an order of magnitude
Fulfill my navigation prophecy

 

[Kevy Baby]

"Smack Elon upside the head"

Don't know if it does anything, but worth a try.

 

[DMBM3]

So does verbally setting them to a speed ("set wipers to auto" / Set wipers to speed X")

I don’t think you can verbally set them to a specific speed, but you can turn them up, down or off.

 

[NedH]

And on a lighter note the command, "My balls are cold" will in fact warm them up.

Does it work for females?

 

[Andy7]

Interesting about the voice command for the wipers. I have found the auto has gotten much better since I got the car last December and I rarely have to adjust it. I do have to use the one swipe short button push at times.

 

[DMBM3]

Interesting about the voice command for the wipers. I have found the auto has gotten much better since I got the car last December and I rarely have to adjust it. I do have to use the one swipe short button push at times.

Its weird. For me, some days the auto seems to work pretty well, but most days it’s just totally off and I spend most of my time messing with the setting.

 

[iwannam3]

We need "set Wiper sensitivity higher/lower" to program your car to your weather. Not Fremont weather.

 

[jkirkwood001]

... does anybody know how to set them to each of the levels?

Yes, "set wipers to level 1 / 2 / 3 or 4" works

 

[jkirkwood001]

Does it work for females?

I don't think "My vagina is frigid" works AT ALL.

 

[Pianewman]

Tesla announces new 'Deep Rain' neural net for its automatic wipers - Electrek

I don't understand how a system that uses multiple feeds from the vehicles' cameras could possibly be accurate, since the ONLY surface that needs to be monitored is the surface in front of the driver.

It seems possible that if the other sensors are somehow getting wet, and the windshield is dry (an Aquapel treated surface, for instance), the wipers would swipe on the dry windshield.

Sounds to me like yet another hyper-engineered "solution" to a simpler problem.

 

[Kevy Baby]

Tesla announces new 'Deep Rain' neural net for its automatic wipers - Electrek

This article is from October 14, 2019 and this has been discussed quite extensively elsewhere on this board.

 

[jjrandorin]

Yes, "set wipers to level 1 / 2 / 3 or 4" works

I said that earlier, but the OP said it doesnt work. I didnt want to get into "well it works on my car" so I just didnt say anything else.

 

[Pianewman]

Kevy Baby: exactly my point. 14 months later, it sounds like they're chasing their tails with this concept of monitoring rain with multiple input points...or just ignoring it, hoping owners will get used to it.

 

[jjrandorin]

Kevy Baby: exactly my point. 14 months later, it sounds like they're chasing their tails with this concept of monitoring rain with multiple input points...or just ignoring it, hoping owners will get used to it.

They dont have any other choice, because they chose not to include the rain sensor physical part that almost every other manufacturer with rain sensing wipers uses. They made this choice, now they have to "make it work". (or decide to use regular rain sensing hardware in future model 3s".

 

[Teedub21]

Manual intermittent only. The "auto" isn't worth it. Doesn't wipe when you want it to, then next thing you know its on high speed. Mist rain seems to confuse it the most. Every now and then I'll try auto again, then within about 3 minutes think why did I do that?