I bought my OEM 19 wheels private party from a member of another forum. My understanding is/was that they purchased the $1,500 wheel upgrade, then decided to go aftermarket.
In the pics I have attached, you can see a slight “step” (the counterbore) around the center hole of both the 19” bought privately and on the 20” that came with the vehicle. This “step” allows the lip to fit inside, so that the wheel fits flush on the hub. There are plenty of pics of old 19” OEM wheels where the centerbore is not present, which is where a lot of confusion and speculation came from.
My guess is, Tesla had to accommodate the stock 20” wheels to fit the lip once the performance option went into production, and rather than having multiple wheels with different hub accommodations, they decided to start machining all of their 19” and 20” wheels with the “performance hub lip” centerbore. Adding more confusion to the mix, they probably had excess inventory, or bad internal information, of old 19” wheels that would not work with the hub lip, which prompted the “does not work with performance upgrade package” warning on Tesla’s website. Probably more likely though, whoever made the call to start machining all wheels going forward with the lip accommodation didn’t pass the word along/it got lost in the chaos that is Tesla at the moment. My guess is if 19” wheels are/were bought post performance version production, they’ll be fine.
I haven’t noticed any crazy rattling or vibrations that another forum member had when he had wheels without the correct lip accommodation installed, and I’ve pushed the vehicle pretty hard since installation to make sure they’re snug. I think you’re in the clear if your wheels have the centerbore.