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Why won’t my Y follow closer than 3 car lengths?

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Ah, but flow rate is a completely different topic. There have been studies, if I am not mistaken, that show that driving slower, and farther apart, keeps the flow rate higher. If we go too fast / follow too close, the minute someone slows down, the next slams the brakes, and you end up with a moving "clog" that stops everyone for a long time.
Humans don't easily adapt their behavior to follow these new studies. The only way we'll solve these things is with fully-automated driving. In the meantime, we drive too fast, too close, and we slam the brakes. I'm part of that mind you, I'm no exception :)
 
The three second rule is ridiculous - or more accurately impossible, because if you sit three seconds behind someone, then GUARANTEED someone else will pull into the gap and you're no longer three seconds behind

Plus at some point there needs to be a vehicle-per-unit-time flow rate on a road, and leaving that much space will mean to keep up the flow rate, we'll need extra lanes or of course vastly increased speeds

. . . not that it's not also a sensible idea mind
As the number of autonomous and highly-assisted cars rises starting at some future date, and especially with at least basic V2V communication, the ability to safely pack traffic much more densely will arrive. This will reduce or eliminate the need to constantly add more lanes. The one HOV lane can become multiple high-density high-speed lanes including auto-merging for entering vehicles. There will eventually be one lane, maybe more like a separate frontage road in many cases, for legacy vehicles that can't participate in the high-density flow.

Noting that when I write things like this, it's common for people to overreact, with over-wrought dystopian misinterpretations. What I said above will happen because it's the natural evolution of highway transit and it will be cheaper, faster and safer. Not because we will be oppressing people and raiding their property to confiscate their Chevelles. I'd be the first to barricade the gates with a pile of my old cars! I'm just talking future reality. In most of the USA, we no longer accommodate horse-and-buggy traffic nor Model-T traffic on high-speed freeways, and whatever outrage that induced has long subsided.
 
My god if I left it on anything other than 1 every single car in Los Angeles could cram into the gaping chasm between me and the car ahead.
As it is 1 often leaves too much of a gap.

As for the original question it’s because your Y doesn’t have radar. They should be restoring the functionality shortly as the new vision system reaches parity with the old one.
I finally get it, now I understand why I'm constantly being tailgated in the Bay Area, and also why there are so many rear-end collisions. No real solution I guess. Glad I'm not commuting any longer.
 
And this is why we get multi car pileups in the US…
1. You will not be delayed by any measurable amount due to people “cutting in”. It’s your ego and nothing else.
2. If people are driving around you and then pulling in front of you in the sensible gap then I commend you for keeping a safe follow distance but you should move over from the left lane as you’re obviously not passing anything if there is enough space for someone to undertake you.
3. You’ll get less stone chips,
4. You’re more likely to not be involved in a pileup
5. You’re less likely to run over debris or hit a pothole you couldn’t see due to following too close.

Because the Germans don’t drive like us they get unlimited speed on sections of their autobahn and less accidents to boot despite being a more crowded country. We on the other hand have the worst driving skills of the “developed” countries…
 
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