I've had my MY for just under 3 months and I still miss CarPlay almost every time I drive. I use it to listen to podcasts, music, navigate with maps, send and read text messages and occasionally make phone calls. Yes you can use BT to play music, etc from your phone, but it is NOT a substitute.
Tesla's navigation system is quite good - It varies somewhat from Apple Maps, but I don't know you can say one is better than the other. The nice thing about Apple Maps is it automatically remembers contacts and other information, making entering destinations easier. Of course Tesla's will calculate battery use and show supercharger locations, and the larger screen is nice.
As others have mentioned, CarPlay is not just apple maps or apple music and is more than a simple BT connection. I can play text messages in my MY easily enough, but not reply to them easily, and not without breaking local laws. Using voice to compose new messages is also very easy.
I have a subscription to AppleMusic and have playlists already in my phone that I use at home with BT speakers; why should I have to pay for another subscription to Spotify? Or buy something from Amazon (I avoid them like the plague, anyway.) I've set up the TuneIn app in my MY the best I can, but let's be honest - the TuneIn interface SUCKS! TuneIn routinely forgets which podcast I was listening to and where I was in the podcast. It's also difficult to browse your library with it, and importantly for someone who uses more than one car, it's inconsistent.
The lack of CarPlay/Android Auto is one of the biggest fails for Tesla, IMO and there is no reason they couldn't implement it using the right half of the screen. I love my MY but the absence of CarPlay is enough to make me consider a different make for my next purchase.
I've had my Model Y for a little more than a month and agree 100% with everything you said. I went to great lengths to upgrade my old car to CarPlay and am a big fan. I thought / hoped I'd adjust to Tesla's system, and not miss CarPlay. But I miss it.
AM Radio. Yes, we all know it doesn't come on a Tesla. Yes, we all know it's obsolete and everyone can crap on it. But, I still liked it in my area. There's two stations locally that I want need. One is the big local "station of record" in my area. If there's something going on I'll tune it to them. They're listed in TuneIn but with a generic icon. The couple times I've tried it it didn't work. Even with a subscription.
iHeart Radio was a good substitute on my old car with CarPlay during the 6 months I had CarPlay but had not run a wire to the trunk for the antenna, so basically a car with no AM or FM radio at all. I got along quite well with CarPlay and iHeart Radio. The iHeart app comes up on screen and I could listen to both stations pretty effectively.
At some point I thought iHeart was on Tesla but later learned that TuneIn was and figured it would be the same. It's not. So a native AM tuner would be best. Next best would be a working TuneIn or iHeart app on Tesla screen. Third best would be streaming it from the iHeart app on my phone, which I haven't tried yet.
The whole Streaming / TuneIn thing is confusing. They're hard to tell apart. I think I've got it now. I do like the comedy channel on Streaming. Some of the music selections were good. Agree with the frustrations over podcasts. There is one daily news oriented podcast I found that was a good fix for my need to stay up on what's going on in the world. But sometimes it would start playing a two day old podcast when I had already been listening to today's. Or it would start today's over. This NEVER happened on CarPlay.
For my media consumption my overall needs were for AM stations, podcasts and Audible audiobooks, then occasional music. Audible audiobooks will need to be controlled by phone streaming. Ugh. Don't skewer me for wanting AM. I knew Tesla's limitations going in on that. So far the work-arounds for that are lacking. Ford and others still include an AM tuner. Ford did a nice job of integrating CarPlay in the Mach-E. Tesla could do the same and put CarPlay on the right side of the screen.
When it comes to phone usage CarPlay is superior. You can play voicemails from screen. Text is better. Hey Siri give me directions to John Smith's.
If I had CarPlay it would be zero extra per month (already have Apple Music). To do things Tesla's way I'll need:
Premium Connectivity $10
TuneIn $15
Spotify Premium $15
So, $40 per month. Ugh again.
I'll adapt as I'm not going to turn around and sell my car so fast. But in a year when a lot of the competitors are actually available I might be tempted to switch.