Well, I like to take good care of my cars too - but like I said, my car ain't no Garage Queen!
There's no arguing that Tesla paint isn't "the greatest"? LOL! First time you've bought a new black car? I don't know how this rumor started but there's no substance to it. Tesla uses the same type of modern high quality, low VOC polyurethane automotive paint used by other car makers. There is no difference. At first the rumor that got endlessly repeated was that the Model 3 had "thin" paint, much thinner than other comparable cars. So an Internet slueth invested $200 in a paint film thickness measuring device that is widely used in the auto industry to detect cars that have been in a crash and repainted, etc. (I believe it uses ultrasonics to measure distance from the top coat to the base metal). He measured a random mix of new Model 3's sitting at delivery centers and a bunch of BMW's Audi's, Ford's, Cadillac's etc.
Guess what? Model 3's had slightly thicker than average paint than other new cars. BMW's were the thinnest. I don't have a link to the video but you can Google it. Paint thickness is not a measure of quality and Tesla did NOT skimp on paint quality. It would be a stupid move.
Ask professional Lyft driver Jim, the owner of a 2018 Model 3 named "Dauntless", someone who drives high mileage (68,000 miles in only 15 months) what he has to say about the paint quality:
How many miles do you have on yours? What matters is how it holds up over time.
I agree with you there. I've had the same problem due to the filthy roads I regularly drive on. And I bet cars coming off the production line now have that hole filled in. Tesla improves and updates their cars faster than any other automaker, even making multiple small improvements in one model year (as they get feedback from their service techs out in the field who have seen it all).
At age 56 my wife and I have been through a few new cars (we tend to keep our cars anywhere between 11 and 19 years) and the two Model 3' are aging with the best of them (previous best was a 2000 MY Volvo S80 made in Sweden). I know black paint shows paint swirls like no one's business (and the deeper the paint, the more apparent the swirls will be). Our 2010 F-150 is deep blue with a pretty thick clear coat and shows swirls like no one's business. Our 1993 VW was white so it didn't show swirls easily but the paint lost its gloss in about 6-8 years. It looked chalky white (in other words, absolutely awful) after that and regular waxing didn't prevent it. But a car is not a museum piece and shouldn't be treated like one (unless you are not going to drive it in the real world). It's a tool meant to do a task and the Model 3 is built with high-quality materials to go the distance and that includes the paint. The Pearl White paint on both my wife's Model 3 and my Model 3 Performance still look gorgeous after over 30K combined miles. There are a few small rock chips on the front facia but we've never had a new car that didn't develop those within a few months. I think your expectations are unrealistic.