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Since you stated you are looking to buy a used model 3 in January of 2022, you have quite a bit of time to research some of this stuff (and it may change between now and then).

Im planing on buying a used model 3 in January 2022, but am debating on if I should get one from 2018-19 or or the new 2021 refresh. is the update really worth it for me?

I suggest you start with taking a look through the model 3 manual that is online. There is a lot of information in there about how the car currently operates, and you have plenty of time to read through it before you start making your decisions.

Here is a link to the manual online.

To answer your specific question, though, there is no carplay or android auto in tesla vehicles currently and no one has heard of plans to integrate that. You can take calls and send texts through the cars interface, but it is not siri. You can tigger siri with a "hey siri" voice command but its not integrated with the car.