What do your in-laws become when your spouse dies?

[timk225]

I had a thought today. If my wife died, what would her family then be to me? Some google searching said "former in-laws", which I guess makes sense, but it's still kind of a weird situation.

I've always gotten along well with them whenever we see each other, but the truth is I really couldn't care less about any of them, and if it weren't for being married to my wife, I'd have nothing to say to them. There's never been any fights or disagreements, and I'm sure they be nice to me too, but if my wife were not here anymore, it would just be weird.

I don't know how to feel about it. If my wife did die I'd invite them all over to get their family memorabilia to keep, but after that.... I don't know what.

I think if my wife died, then maybe for the first Thanksgiving or Christmas they'd still invite me over for dinner, then..... nothing.

 

[ItsNotAboutTheMoney]

In-laws. It's not a divorce. Only gets really weird if you were to get a girlfriend.

Depends how much of a connection they created with you. Some people become part of the family, some don't. From their point of view, inviting you could be uncomfortable since you don't share as much and you're a reminder of their dead relative.

 

[LoudMusic]

Pretty sure they become your out-laws.

It also sounds like you don't have children with your wife. That would definitely change your perspective.

 

[jjrandorin]

I had a thought today. If my wife died, what would her family then be to me? Some google searching said "former in-laws", which I guess makes sense, but it's still kind of a weird situation.

I've always gotten along well with them whenever we see each other, but the truth is I really couldn't care less about any of them, and if it weren't for being married to my wife, I'd have nothing to say to them. There's never been any fights or disagreements, and I'm sure they be nice to me too, but if my wife were not here anymore, it would just be weird.

I don't know how to feel about it. If my wife did die I'd invite them all over to get their family memorabilia to keep, but after that.... I don't know what.

I think if my wife died, then maybe for the first Thanksgiving or Christmas they'd still invite me over for dinner, then..... nothing.

Being "family" with people absolutely does not require being blood related.... neither does being blood related to someone automatically make them "family". From your description, you dont consider them family, they are your wifes family, not yours. Kind of a strange thing to be discussing here, but what they become to you is based on what they are to you now.

 

[Grabthar]

When my wife died last fall, my interactions with my mother-in-law really didn't change at all. It's still an occasional call and cards at the holidays as usual but that's all the interaction we had when my wife was alive.

 

[Featsbeyond50]

If you have children, they are your family. Do not take that away from them or your children.
If there are no kids, have them in your life as much as you would like and they are willing.