I agree with most of what you say, but come to a slightly different conclusion. When Autosteer is on, I'm not steering, but monitoring steering. I think one hand is plenty. I see why you disagree.
I have not tried it, but you may be able to accomplish the same thing, getting torque to one side of the wheel, with both hands. The old guideline before airbags was to keep hands at 10 and 2 o'clock. After airbags, that was changed to 9 and 3 o'clock (which I'm sure you do, being the safe driver you are). It seems that if you are trying to get torque to one side of the wheel, by simply changing your hand positions, perhaps you can accomplish this. You might try, say, 10 and 3 o'clock or some variant, with hands resting on slightly different heights on the wheel to create torque to one side.
Be forewarned -- if you come back and say this is uncomfortable, I will discount all of your previous claims of safety as the reason you don't like one hand driving, and know that two hands are just your learned habit and that is the real issue.
What I normally do is hold the wheel with 2 hands and just deliberately apply a little torque on one side when I get the nags, which is pretty often even though I'm holding the wheel properly. Sometimes I simply revert to holding it one handed to avoid the nags. What I would much prefer is not getting the nags in the first place when I'm holding the wheel properly with 2 hands. Having to consciously apply torque kind of defeats the point of AS, although I still use it quite often and have got used to the routine over time. I think we basically agree that the hand detection system is flawed in this respect and could be a lot better. When you start reading about people resting their arms inside the spokes etc just to avoid nags, you know the system is not very effective.
