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button on the mobile connector charger never unlocks the handle...

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Maybe a few updates and changes in behaviour have gone by, but I find that when the car is asleep, it will not release the charge connector however long you press and whatever you do.
Charged today, about 4 hours, wanted to removed the charge connector about 30 mins after it was done charging, nothing. Pressing the rear door handle didn't help, when I unlocked the car with the key card the charge connector released immediately when I pressed it.
 
Maybe a few updates and changes in behaviour have gone by, but I find that when the car is asleep, it will not release the charge connector however long you press and whatever you do.
Charged today, about 4 hours, wanted to removed the charge connector about 30 mins after it was done charging, nothing. Pressing the rear door handle didn't help, when I unlocked the car with the key card the charge connector released immediately when I pressed it.

Did you have a phone key in your pocket?
 
Had another try, done charging, the car was asleep according to Teslamate, the illuminated T at the charging port was dark, when I pressed the button on the charge connector the T lit up green and the car obviously woke up (you hear some clunks when it does), but still it would not unlock the charge plug. Again only when opening the car (now with the phone key) would it unlock the charge plug.
 
Had another try, done charging, the car was asleep according to Teslamate, the illuminated T at the charging port was dark, when I pressed the button on the charge connector the T lit up green and the car obviously woke up (you hear some clunks when it does), but still it would not unlock the charge plug. Again only when opening the car (now with the phone key) would it unlock the charge plug.
I think you basically already answered this, but when you said "no matter how long you press it", how long is however long?

I don't use the mobile connector, but I use a J1772 connector, and even that unlocks when I press the button and hold it pressed in (somewhat surprisingly--I did the manual unlock--either via the app or by opening a door) for about a year until I learned this trick! But even then I only have to hold the button for about a second--maybe 2 at the most. Of course the J1772 has a physical switch attached to the release button that without a doubt indicates via the proximity pilot that I have pressed the release button, whereas the mobile connector is a bit more of a soft switch. I wonder if the switch in your mobile connector is defective? Does pressing it open the charge port door?