Ah, so my hunch was right in that this isn’t currently supported by Tesla?
It’s such a basic thing that’s been standard for everyone else for years. Wish they’d work on implementing basic stuff like this that’s missing rather than more ways to make fart sounds.
If I remember right, you also come from BMW land like I (and many others) do. I have not found a way to do what you are asking in the model 3. The nice thing is, they may add it one day and we wont have to try to either connect to the car and try to understand german to change some back end option or other via coding, or try to get a new iDrive unit to get it to work if they finally fix it.
In iDrive, like you, I say "call my wife, mobile", or "call my sister, mobile" (where my sister has like 4 phone numbers under her name, cause they still have a home line, she has a mobile number, and she has 2 phone numbers at work).
Doesnt work in any manner that I can figure out on teslas interface, so you either have to stab the screen while driving (which I really dont like to try to do), or work around it by creating another contact with just the phone number you want in it, and only that number. That work around works but is absolutely not something you would want to do for many people.
Another work around if you have an iPhone at least is to use "hey siri" voice commands to voice activate siri (even though there is no long press to activate it with the thumb wheel like on BMWs idrive), and then say out loud who you want to call in the manner you are used to.
It will still come through the cars speakers when the call connects. This is about the only usage for "hey siri" that I found even a little bit useful, but I ended up using the work around of creating a few key contacts as separate entries in my phone to work around this.