... I want the Model 3. It's the right car for me.
...
All indications are that like many cars sold today, the Model 3 does not have a heated steering wheel.
And you seem convinced the preheat function that the Model 3 will most likely ship with will not provide you with the driving experience you require.
I'm in the same boat. A Leaf does not have the acceleration, handling, or range that I would need. So regardless what features a Leaf can be ordered with, it can never be an acceptable automobile for me.
Nissan surrendered handling, performance, and battery capacity so you could have other features. It is a better car for you.