It's pretty easy to know when it's added because the purchase price is $3K more.
The question is how much do you want to press this?
Is your request date within that 1 week time period of FSD going off menu? To my recollection you only had 1 week or so to add it.
What's the actual cost of not getting this now? It's likely $5K because we've heard that floated as the cost for the AP3 computer upgrade.
Ultimately you're going to either have to take a stand to force the issue, or you're going to have to accept the additional $2K cost. That $2K cost is likely going to incur in under a year.
But, that doesn't include when it will differentiate in any substantial way from AP2. That might be another 6 months or more.
I wouldn't worry about a massive price increase in FSD at least not for the next year. The reason is they seem to have gone a route of slowly introducing features to bring it closer to FSD at a very slow pace.
The biggest concern is making sure your car has the AP3 computer because that's what Model 3's will ship with as soon as the computer is ready.
Having the old computer is not the boat you want to be on if you care about EAP/FSD. We're used to thinking about them as separate things, but I think there is a reasonable amount of concern that EAP is far harder than anticipated.
Tesla is going to have a bit of a mess on their hands if FSD owners have a much better EAP experience than EAP owners have.
Regardless of what happens having the $3K FSD option protects you. But, when it starts to protect you is anyones guess.
I would continue to fight for it, but I don't know if it's something I would refuse delivery if it doesn't have it. If I was in your shoes I'd be debating from a purely binary standpoint. Of accepting the car without it, or telling them flat-out that you won't accept delivery without the FSD being added. This would be assuming I was within the 1 week timeframe of when it was pulled off menu. If it wasn't I'd accept the additional $2K cost later on.
I'm glad they pulled the FSD option because this is exactly the kind of confusion/stress/frustration that it caused.
They caused this because they sold FSD as a destination, and not a journey. The reality is FSD is a ticket on a journey. But, it's a ticket without any promise as to what you'll experience on that journey.
The EAP owners are also on this journey, and we're like "why are you people still with us?"