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trailer lighting detection - when nothing plugged in?

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2016 X, I'm pulling a trailer that is light enough to not trip the "heavy load detected" alert. The car has from the factory the 7-round plug and "accessory hitch" but not their overpriced "trailer mode" software setup.

So when I plug in a lighted 7-to-4 adapter (one of those red ones that you can get from Uhaul or Curt) the dash dutifully lights up with the yellow indicator. All is well.
But at some point in this road trip I'm on, the lights on the trailer stopped functioning and the dash indicator is STILL ON even when I remove the plug adapter. Where do I look first? It just seems that the car is not sending any power through the circuit.
 
Because I have not elected to pay Tesla $1300 for a software page, that does not exist on my UI. I have no trailer mode to switch on or off.

Do you have LED or incandescent lights on your trailer? If incandescent, it's probably too much of a load on the circuit, tripping an e-fuse.

You may need a trailer wiring adapter that uses the tail lights for switching, but gets the 12v for the lights from a different circuit, like a rear 12v plug.