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When home, my phone is always close enough for the phone key to authenticate with my MY, so if my charging cable is plugged in it can unlock my car

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Even if the car is able to be unlocked by pressing the button on the charging wand, I don't think you can drive the car away without the phone being inside the car. Please test and see if that's the case.
I can drive my MY at least for hundreds yards away without the phone key after unlock MY by leaving the phone in my house. I am so worried, I have to turn off phone bluetooth at night.
 
Even if the car is able to be unlocked by pressing the button on the charging wand, I don't think you can drive the car away without the phone being inside the car. Please test and see if that's the case.
Bluetooth has much longer range and better penetration than short range RF used by traditional keyless fobs. There is no way for the car to know if the phone is inside or outside of the vehicle, unlike other cars with keyless fobs that have multiple receivers inside and out to detect the key. As long as the Bluetooth signal is strong enough, the car will assume the phone is nearby enough to unlock and drive the car.
 
Just have to open the app. And I can then keep Bluetooth on as I normally do.

You can also open the Tesla widget to use unlock. Slightly quicker for me than the app itself.


If this is how this is supposed to work, then I will have to use physical key cards, or maybe fobs.

Other option if you don’t want to carry the fob or have to pull the card out every time is to get a rfid ring. They use official Tesla chip from one of the keys and put it in a ring. Not Bluetooth, just like the card. Tap to B pillar and open.

The phone doesn’t always work in my experience for some reason so every so often o have to pull the card out or pull out phone, unlock, open app, put back in pocket.

The ring is the best of both worlds, esp if you also use the phone.