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Connect 2 Cell phones to 1 Car

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OK I HAVE THE ANSWER!!! My Wife's iPhone 12 would not stay connected. It continuously dropped or she had to activate her Tesla app over and over to get into the car when she was alone, and then it would disconnect while she was driving causing numerous warnings. Mine always would work because I was the only one that had a Tesla Account. I called Tesla Software Support They had me remove the Tesla app from her iPhone 12. Reinstall it and made a new account for her under her email. Then I sent her a text message from my iphone to her iphone from my Tesla app under "Security and Drivers" allowing her to have her own account. Activated it from that text on her iphone. I then erased her phone from my Y and searched and connected her phone again. I had to use the Key Card during the process of connecting her phone after i accepted the text on her phone. Location services always has to be on for the app. The Delivery Reps at Tesla did not do this. Which caused all the trouble with her phone. It was never set up correctly. Each phone has to have it's own separate account for the same car. That is the fix! Salute!
 
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Yep, that's how it works. So, let's try some nomenclature:
  • Account Owner: The person whose account has the VIN, purchase agreement, and all the detailed stuff.
  • Additional Driver: The person whose account doesn't have any of that, but, through the fun of doing invites, has permission to drive the car.
Interestingly, the Account Owner can see, under the Upgrades on the App, all the software upgrades, accessories, Extended Service Agreement, and all that stuff. The Additional Driver can't see that stuff.

There are very definitely profiles, so when the Additional Driver gets into the car, the car will see which phone it is, then set the seating position, rear view mirrors, and a plethora of other settings in Autopilot and such for the Additional Driver.

This household has two Teslas. The SO is the Account Owner on one car; I'm the Account Owner on the other car. We tend to drive together quite a bit in whatever car is handy. One of the tricky bits is that each car has, under Bluetooth, a list of phone keys that it knows about. One of those Phone Keys is listed as the "Priority" device for each car.

So, this makes a bit of sense: When the SO and I get into her car, it uses her profile; when we get into mine, it uses my profile. The problem: When we both get into a car, but the "opposite" person is driving, the car usually picks the wrong person. Such is life.
 
So, this makes a bit of sense: When the SO and I get into her car, it uses her profile; when we get into mine, it uses my profile. The problem: When we both get into a car, but the "opposite" person is driving, the car usually picks the wrong person. Such is life.

My wife and I are empty nesters, in the same situation (tesla model 3 and Y with the 3 being "mine" and the Y being "hers". We basically developed this routine where "whomever is driving the car opens their drivers door first", which seems to alleviate most (but not all) of what you are talking about.

If the person driving opens the drivers door first, it seems that the correct profile for that phone is selected (provided you have mated the profile to the correct phone in the tesla locks screen). So, if she is driving and I go to the garage first, I will stand by the passenger door and not touch it / open it / get in the car, till she goes and opens the drivers door. If I am driving, she does the same thing.

We have a home alarm system, so the person who isnt driving is the one that walks out the house last and activates the alarm (which means the person driving goes out to the garage first, gets to the drivers door first, and usually has the drivers door open before the person who isnt driving is opening their passenger door.

Sounds more complicated typing it than it is, but this tends to work (we also have separate tesla accounts, etc as I set that up a while ago for both of us).