Is it normal to be terrified when you're a passenger?

[SSonnentag]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm so nervous I get physically sick when my wife drives and I'm a passenger. She is a safe driver and hasn't had any accidents in over 40 years of driving, but I'm still mortified. Does anyone else have similar issues with being a passenger? I can't fly on planes either. There's something about having absolutely no control over the vehicle I'm riding in that horrifies me.

 

[mongo]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm so nervous I get physically sick when my wife drives and I'm a passenger. She is a safe driver and hasn't had any accidents in over 40 years of driving, but I'm still mortified. Does anyone else have similar issues with being a passenger? I can't fly on planes either. There's something about having absolutely no control over the vehicle I'm riding in that horrifies me.

I'm a terrible passenger in a car (I try to sleep to stay sane...). Planes are ok since I can't see where we are going and there aren't any obstacles to dodge..

Edit: Typo, plus clarification, I'm not terrified, just unsettled...

 

[Need]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm so nervous I get physically sick when my wife drives and I'm a passenger. She is a safe driver and hasn't had any accidents in over 40 years of driving, but I'm still mortified. Does anyone else have similar issues with being a passenger? I can't fly on planes either. There's something about having absolutely no control over the vehicle I'm riding in that horrifies me.

Hmmm but according to your signature, you got EAP AND FSD... how's that going to work for you?

 

[mongo]

Hmmm but according to your signature, you got EAP AND FSD... how's that going to work for you?

Great for me. It will be working when I'm asleep

Really, I tried auto park and hated it...

 

[Toreador]

I cringe once in a while when my wife drives, but I can't honestly say that I'm terrified

 

[Mrcook4590]

Check out www.fearofflying.com. This will help teach you to trick your brain into being okay with things like being out of control. It's a great program and got me back flying after 10 years not! It's a lot of mental work, but I HIGHLY recommend it. I did the guaranteed course as well as bought the book (SOAR - found on amazon) and go to the chat most Wednesdays. I used to get panicky when stuck in traffic as well as being on a plane, but after my first 'practice' flight, I was in traffic and it took me a few minutes before I even realized it. I laughed! Changed my life!

 

[DoctorVenkman]

Seek professional help. This is an irrational behavior that is having an adverse impact on your life - a trained therapist should be able to help. If you're high strung in general you'd probably find the therapist helps your life in other areas, too.

 

[l4sythe]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm so nervous I get physically sick when my wife drives and I'm a passenger. She is a safe driver and hasn't had any accidents in over 40 years of driving, but I'm still mortified. Does anyone else have similar issues with being a passenger? I can't fly on planes either. There's something about having absolutely no control over the vehicle I'm riding in that horrifies me.

I’m no psychologist, but sounds like mortality is an issue for you. I see a lot of men out there that don’t let their wife’s drive cars when they are in them. My wife and I both drive when we are in the car together, and I am perfectly comfortable with that. It gives me a chance to chill, snooze, and watch the scenery outside. Not having to be in control all the time is a good thing.

 

[jboy210]

People do have issues with control. I see it all the time when I fly. People are sweaty and hyperventilating. One should not be afraid to get help when they need it.

 

[JHWJR]

Seek professional help. This is an irrational behavior that is having an adverse impact on your life - a trained therapist should be able to help. If you're high strung in general you'd probably find the therapist helps your life in other areas, too.

I get myself in trouble when I'm that candid. Glad someone else stepped forward. But the issue does not seem to be with the wife's driving.

 

[BLKMDL3]

I have an issue in any car. It isn't just in my car.

 

[MXWing]

Not having gotten into an accident doesn’t mean you are a good driver. Your wife could just be lucky.

Or she’s actually a great driver.

Mortified is an extreme emotion. You need to back this up with some tangible stuff if you feel this way. Examples are

1.) wife randomly drifts into other lanes and is unaware.
2.) wifes reaction time is super slow
3.) wife panicks when things are not orderly
4.) wife doesn’t realize it when other drivers are upset at her / can’t read emotions of other drivers
5.) wife leaves no space cushion when cruising or performing maneuvers.

If she has great road command than you need to trust her.

Thanks for sharing so I will be completely honest with you - especially the bit about planes.

Man up.

99.9% of males are not terrified of planes and you need to suck it up. Fly 100 flights in a month if you need to break yourself of that irrational fear.

It’s not meant to be insulting, my dearest friends I would tell them the same thing.

 

[NickFie]

My wife has a different driving style than mine. She's never had an accident. I've come to accept her style, only comment when I notice we've come close to an obstacle and she hasn't slowed.

Not much conflict. She doesn't like highway driving while I enjoy it. On long trips, she'll drive the first 45 minutes or hour while I nap in the passenger seat. Then I drive the remainder. In long trips I've slept as a motorcycle passenger, with a "sissy bar"; on the floor of a mobile recording studio leaving Manhattan after a very long day.

My wife comments on my driving, usually about speed or to verify that I'm awake. She navigates, reads, knits or sleeps during car trips. I've developed very smooth technique so she isn't disturbed or worried. Route 15 in Connecticut is a problem - lateral forces on curves catch her attention.

 

[DoctorVenkman]

Thanks for sharing so I will be completely honest with you - especially the bit about planes.

Man up.

99.9% of males are not terrified of planes and you need to suck it up. Fly 100 flights in a month if you need to break yourself of that irrational fear.

It’s not meant to be insulting, my dearest friends I would tell them the same thing.

This is a bad post, I'm sorry. You're diminishing a legitimate mental health issue while sprinkling some sexism by implying women are more afraid than men with no data to back you up.

In reality there are various studies showing between 6-20% of the population suffers from a fear of flying. It's a legitimate issue and often requires the help of mental health professionals. Don't be so dismissive, and don't stigmatize mental health problems.

 

[bob_p]

Passengers used to ICEs may take some time to be comfortable riding in a vehicle with rapid acceleration or when under control of AutoPilot/TACC, especially when the driver has adapted to driving a Tesla.

 

[⚡️ELECTROMAN⚡️]

Just be glad you're not teaching your 15 year old daughter how to drive. Once you've experienced that, you'll wish your wife was driving.

 

[buttershrimp]

Who wears the pants In your family? You do.

I want you to look in a mirror and repeat:

I am a MAN
I am A man
I AM a man
I am a man?

Also.... it helps if you pray out loud while she’s driving.

“Oh sweet baby Jesus/Buddha/Tom cruise .... let us get there safely”

 

[MXWing]

This is a bad post, I'm sorry. You're diminishing a legitimate mental health issue while sprinkling some sexism by implying women are more afraid than men with no data to back you up.

In reality there are various studies showing between 6-20% of the population suffers from a fear of flying. It's a legitimate issue and often requires the help of mental health professionals. Don't be so dismissive, and don't stigmatize mental health problems.

Nothing about my post was sexist. I made no assumptions. If OP is scared of his wife driving he has to figure if there is legitimate reason for it. You can replace his wife with any other person and the analysis still applies.
Possible plot twist: wife drives better than OP??

I think doing 10 commuter flights in a week if you are scared of planes is more productive and cheaper than seeing a shrink. You’d get flyer miles out of it as well.

We are an excuse driven society and find different ways to legitimize all sorts of things that can be easily fixed.

My son is scared of tons of bullshit. Doesn’t want to go on Pirates of the Caribbean or eat the yolk of hard boiled eggs.

Guess who’s eating hard boiled eggs (yolk and all) while riding Pirates of the Caribbean??

No TMC members would want to marry their daughters off to cowards (you would imagine?) so weaknesses have to be hit hard and fast.

 

[buttershrimp]

Nothing about my post was sexist. I made no assumptions. If OP is scared of his wife driving he has to figure if there is legitimate reason for it. You can replace his wife with any other person and the analysis still applies.
Possible plot twist: wife drives better than OP??

I think doing 10 commuter flights in a week if you are scared of planes is more productive and cheaper than seeing a shrink. You’d get flyer miles out of it as well.

We are an excuse driven society and find different ways to legitimize all sorts of things that can be easily fixed.

My son is scared of tons of bullshit. Doesn’t want to go on Pirates of the Caribbean or eat the yolk of hard boiled eggs.

Guess who’s eating hard boiled eggs (yolk and all) while riding Pirates of the Caribbean??

No TMC members would want to marry their daughters off to cowards (you would imagine?) so weaknesses have to be hit hard and fast.

It’s not sexist to think that babes & chicks drive differently then us men. ... I mean, it’s hard to put on lipstick and drive with high heels, even with autopilot. Trust me, as a man, I can’t stand driving in my pumps and don’t get me started on the mascara and lack of a visor light on my model s.

 

[SSonnentag]

It’s not sexist to think that babes & chicks drive differently then us men. ... I mean, it’s hard to put on lipstick and drive with high heels, even with autopilot. Trust me, as a man, I can’t stand driving in my pumps and don’t get me started on the mascara and lack of a visor light on my model s.

Try eating butter shrimp while driving blindfolded . . . Thank goodness for AP.