Oh man, Elon tweeted a link to this article: https://theringer.com/ranking-poten...-musks-spacex-venture-ff66e7e2b23f#.n9q9yjyn4
If someone wants to be blame the Russians (and they can be blamed for a lot), then I want to join the party:
A Soviet era, silent caterpillar driven submarine, on its way to Cuba, surfaced off the coast of Florida and proceeded to let Edward Snowden out on its sail. Snowden, having for once been told the truth by the Russians that the rocket would launch a satellite belonging to the greatest spying platform in the world, had been issued a single 14.5mm incendiary round and a PTRD-41 with its stock having seven notches, one for each of the German tanks it had taken out when defending the Great Motherland against Western aggression. Convinced he was once again doing his country and the free world a great service, Snowden took out the rocket and with it its dangerous payload.
"The Americans know all about collateral damage. They will understand", he said in Russian as he carved an eighth notch and handed the rifle back to the captain, who had an uncanny resemblance to the actor Sean Connery.
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