Um. In the U.S., with residential split phase, the neutral and ground (as in, a stake in the ground, with a wire going into the breaker box) are bonded together in the breaker box. This isn't true for sub-panels, but the main panel has that.
So, in general, the two hots should be about the same with respect to safety ground. And it's been pretty much confirmed that either the Tesla Wall Connector, the Tesla Mobile Connector, or the car itself (or all three?) check for droops on a hot, whether it be L1 or L2.