Regen really is not the same as lifting off or braking mid corner in an ICE car and you can't turn regen off completely unless you use one of the methods which override the software, so you have to deal with it which means modifying your driving style/technique.Everything you said is spot on, but leaving regen on causes all the problems you would expect if you let a 5yo tap the brakes when they fancy as you go round the corner. At least on the AWD suspension and the 18's, weight rams forward, the outside front digs in and it's really not nice. Not unsafe, but doesn't feel controlled for the amount of power you have.
All hail after market setups!
But yes, aftermarket setups do make things more predictable and more satisfying. You still need to change your inputs slightly to work with the regen though.