Follow up for you, I took the car in for service, annoying back seat rattle fixed and I was able get back to figuring out why the heck my car felt stiffer in the suspension than my brother in laws.
At 22 mi. I change from the 255/40/20 stock rubber with a 101 load rating to a 275/40/20 Continental DWS06 plus with a 106 load rating to add a little more rubber to the ground as well as a little extra sidewall for comfort plus i'm just not a fan of that stretched look where the wheel rim pokes out a little.
My first thought was maybe a little break in for the new tires and all will be good but the rough ride persisted, I then lowered the pressure to 40 from the 42 and it helped a very small amount but was still not happy, I ran across this site
Tire Pressure Calculator and punched in the numbers to see what they would say and turns out my new tire at 36 psi still has a higher load rating than the stock rubber at 42!
Dropped them all to 36, took a 40 mile trip and I was blown away at the difference, seems to be better than my brother in laws but will soon get them back to back to confirm.
If you did not want to go wider you could just go with a 45 aspect ratio with a 105 load rated tire same width as stock but 29" tall instead of 28" stock height with 37 psi being about equal to the 42 psi of a 101 load rated stock tire.
For anyone who has doubts about changing tires just to improve the ride then hit me up if in the area to test drive cause I can prove it to you.