Tesla is connected but downloads almost nothing. We talking bytes not megabytes
I wonder if you were scheduled for .8 and that has been pulled (opinions vary on that, TeslaFi still showing some downloads, but there have been plenty of reports of very erratic behaviour and critical-takeover-alerts. That sort of side effect is rare on AP side, thus I think likely it has been pulled. QA bugs on Infotainment are less urgent than those on the AP side ...).
Might also be that the download has failed for some reason. Car tends to "give up" when that happens (after several attempts). It may wait a fair while before retrying. Service request to "push download to your car again" might be fastest way to fix that.
Also possible its your WiFi (although phone hotspot test suggests otherwise, and I would expect you to also have problems with other internet access from the car - Browser, Spotify, etc. [when explicitly connected to home WiFi making sure that LTE not used]). Testing on a friends / coffee-shop WiFi might be worthwhile, but I doubt that will be different.
There have been some threads from people who found that moving the WiFi kit to a different channel fixed WiFi robustness issues, some channels seem to work better than others. (Your Phone Hotspot failure makes that unlikely, but ...)
I think the bottom line is that because your Phone Hotspot didn't work (i.e. wasn't showing significant bytes-transferred activity) that the scheduled download has been cancelled, or failed multiple times and been "blocked" temporarily.
If you have 2020.4 I wouldn't be in a rush for anything newer. I can understand newcomer wish to get the updates, but after 4 years I'd like to be no earlier than "middle of the pack", given the lousy QA that Tesla have. They ought to only push new versions to old-hands, rather than anyone that pressed "Advanced" and sets the "soonest possible" download option. The latest reports of "emergency - take over" bug from .8 release is probably not something that ought to be combined with new owner / lack of familiarity - but that's just my opinion.
