So a Tesla rolls into a bar...

[KarenRei]

So a Tesla rolls into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?", and the Tesla replies, "I was manufactured before April 2016."

So a Tesla rolls into a bar, because it has AP 2.0 and the sensors didn't detect it, but it's okay because it'll be getting an update any day now.

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender starts making it. A second Tesla rolls up and orders a martini. The bartender starts making it, but really slowly until the first Tesla leaves.

So a Tesla rolls into a bar, and the bartender barks, "We don't serve your kind!". Sure enough, they only had CCS mugs.

So a Tesla rolls into a bar, which is great, but the bar had expected it months earlier than it actually arrived.

So a Tesla rolls into a bar. Everyone starts making bets that it won't pay its tab, and that any day now Porsche is going to do a much better job rolling into the bar, just you wait!

Okay, I got bored

 

[AudubonB]

Sounds like the Tesla's on a roll, even if you aren't.

 

[AudubonB]

There wasn't any room for the two Teslas entering the bar, but the bartender told them not to worry:

"This one's getting ready to Leaf, and that one's about to Bolt."

 

[AudubonB]

If you liked that one, I've got Waymo.

 

[mongo]

Two Teslas roll into a bar, a third lowers its suspension and misses it.

 

[Red_DS]

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and asks the bartender for a Martini, the bartender says, “I can make you make you a Martini for $12 or you can buy that premixed Martini on the shelf for $9”

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and multiple bartenders come running up to the Tesla and says, “Can we get you a drink? It’s the end of the shift and the premixed martinis have huge discounts!”

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and orders a Martini. Bartender says, you gotta pay first. The Tesla is slightly annoyed, but still pays for the drink. Bartender starts to make the drink, but very slowly. Tesla asks, “Hey how long will my drink take?” Bartender replies, “3 months maybe, 6 months definitely”

Ok. I think I’m all out.

P.S: Please don’t get the wrong impression. I love my Tesla!

 

[AudubonB]

I’m thinking that SpaceX should get together with Dyson in the future, as there is going to be a lot more stuff up there than there is now!

And SpaceX will have assets up there to protect...

Q: Why send a vacuum into the vacuum of outer space?

A: Because a lot of satellites are going to Diesoon.

 

[Uncle Paul]

No...I'm a frayed knot!

 

[buttershrimp]

What's the difference between a porcupine and an ICE driver?

The porcupine carries its pricks on the outside.

 

[Akikiki]

My Wife is Missing--
A husband went to the police station to report his missing wife:
Husband - I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday & has still not come home.
Sergeant - What is her height ?
Husband - I really never noticed.
Sergeant - Build?
Husband - Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant - Color of eyes?
Husband - Never noticed.
Sergeant - Color of hair?
Husband - Changes according to season.
Sergeant - What was she wearing?
Husband - Dress/suit/ I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant - Did she go in a car?
Husband - yes.
Sergeant - What kind of car was it?
Husband - Pearl White Tesla Model S rear wheel drive electric vehicle with liquid-cooled
powertrain, 100 kWh microprocessor controlled, lithium-ion battery, gear box, three phase, four
pole AC induction dual motors each with a copper rotor, drive inverter with variable frequency
drive and regenerative braking system and single speed fixed gear with 9.73:1 reduction ratio
and has a very thin scratch on the right front mirror.…
at this point the husband started crying.
Sergeant - won't worry sir.......We will find your car.

 

[hill]

Hey!
The OP's doing Tesla BAR humor.
Example;
So a Tesla rolls into a bar. Even before it can order a drink, the bartender yells, get outa here - you're already drunk!
"I am not", retorts the Tesla. "i see double vision due to the giant windshield"

.

 

[ValueAnalyst]

So a Tesla rolls into a bar, three to six months after it said it would.

 

[kvandivo]

So a Tesla rolls into a bar. It was on autopilot.

 

[mongo]

If a...
Tesla rolls into a bar, it's a S
Tesla stays outside the bar flapping and flashing, it's an X with Christmas Easter egg.
Tesla rolls into a bar next month with 1,000 friends, it's a 3
Tesla rolls under a bar, it's a Roadster
Tesla rolls through a bar without slowing, it's a semi

 

[T34ME]

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and after 5 minutes with no service, honks its horn. Bartender says, "sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

So a Tesla rolls into a bar with a tire iron. Bartender says, "what's the problem?" Tesla angrily says, "I'm Seeking Alpha!"

So a Tesla rolls into a bar and orders a martini. After a couple of minutes starts to roll out of the bar. Bartender says. " didn't you like my martini, you haven't finished it?" Tesla says, "Sorry I gotta go, I'm on summon!"