So the service visit was a waste the first time - but my time in this city has dragged on and I got bored, so I thought I'd go back and just buy the SCCM over the counter and try to put it in myself. There IS a clockspring in the SCCM and it isn't a separate component. So that's one thing proven from the service droid not knowing what she was talking about before.
Had a long conversation with a service manager who seems actually dedicated to improving the customer service profile of the company. (I wish him MUCH luck, he's gonna need it). He was also saying the proper thing is a replacement airbag - because the switches are part of the airbag.
Here's the thing.... They aren't. They are part (screwed in so they don't HAVE to be) of the bezel AROUND the airbag, but they aren't the airbag itself of course. I pulled the wheel off and the clockspring looked just like the new one so there's no joy there, it is probably the switches b/c it seems like there might be a central IC under the airbag.
Do they sell the switches? Of course not! Do they sell the bezel? NOPE! They sell the AIRBAG (but NOT over the counter!) and it's a..... wait for it..... One THOUSAND dollar replacement. Because OF COURSE IT IS!
So for $30 of Chinese switches, your only option with them is replacing the entire airbag "module" that isn't a module, it's a screwed-in-and-spring-loaded airbag trapezoid attached to the cheap plastic bezel and buttons that you actually want. THIS is why people hate Tesla. Because they have to reinvent the fecking wheel at every turn, and make it a thousand bucks every time.
Oh, you need a shock for your car? That's $985. The brakes? (which you really shouldn't get them from a dealer anyway) That's $1100, for the pads that cost us $85 per axle. Glass for the roof, that's a rectangle 18x24 inches? $1200. Each.
They are idiots.
I've ordered a bezel with buttons for $200 off Ebay b/c it will arrive just as I get back from this road trip, otherwise I'd have gotten ONLY the buttons from a Chinesium supplier for $55, but that would have likely taken the better part of a month to arrive. The only question I have is about the horn button, b/c it doesn't seem like there IS a button but maybe it is part of the wiring hidden by the airbag itself. The boom boom doesn't make beeping, it only has the scary yellow wires going to it.
