I will generally review the list of charging stops before I head out. The good news is that you can do this on the app now, and even adjust the starting SOC to what you'll have when you leave home. You have a few options in terms of avoiding a stop you don't want to make. You can charge up a little extra at each stop prior, or do a deeper charge at the stop prior to the one you want to avoid. Or, you can simply navigate to each charger in turn rather than putting in your final destination. Then, when you arrive at the first charger, put in the next one, etc. I've done this when I want to stop at a particular charger because I know the amenities are better than one it wants me to stop at.
I'm curious as to which one in NJ was 40 miles out of the way? Do you recall? I travel from Central NJ to MA pretty frequently so am pretty familiar with this route.