Please stop with the stupid questions and angst. A stock split means nothing. It is defined to leave everything as it is. Everything will be either multiplied by five or divided by five to leave all things involving value the same. A share will represent only 1/5 as much of the company as it used to, and it will be worth 1/5 as much. All options will be adjusted appropriately. Nice for people with little money to invest, but such investments don't amount to much in any case.
About the only effect I can see it might have is that if all stockholders have to engage in some moderate paperwork (by way of their brokers) then it could leave shorts in a tricky position. I have no idea what that might be. Worth considering, but probably meaningless.
Maybe not with it being a dividend. If there are no shares to buy the shorts are screwed. That is why the price jump is so much the shorts have got to cover before the record date. (this is my reading of the situation, I could be completely wrong).