Resolved.
Not a software problem. Definitely a hardware problem.
21 Model Y. It was a front camera problem, but not on the outside of windshield. Had to have service center remove windshield and clean front cameras. To confirm simply save a dash cam video of when windshield wipers mistakenly go off and then view it when parked. My video looked much hazier than normal and all lights had "wet" reflection lines extending above and below. By showing attaching photo and video of the unclear dash cam, the service center took me seriously and had something to target and fix. The technicians notes read,
But this totally fixed the issue. My guess is that many service centers don't know to examine the dash cam or don't want to take off the windshield to clean the cameras. I knew this was the case because I never had this problem for two years until I had to have my windshield replaced, and the problem only started after I got the car back. I had the inspiration to look at a dash cam video and noticed it was hazzier and more distorted than it had ever been. After I took it back, they fixed the issue.
The problem was more frequent in low light settings, at night (constant), or during the day when going under bridges, or when surfaces caught sun reflections. In the pic of you can see that street lights have vertical "star bursts" that probably trick the AI into thinking there is moisture. Goes to show how advanced the AI really is.