So basically I can spend ±$1300 on a new set of tires & wheels and do it myself, or have a chain shop that's never seen a Tesla replace the tires for me... Kind of feel like either way I'm taking a big leap of faith!
If you can get to the right people, Michelin makes a manual tire changing table and tire levers for passenger car tires. This is small and inexpensive (use the FUSIL, and FACE levers). Basically the stand clamps to the edges of the wheel and can be moved to various angles to allow the tire to be mounted easily. Sorry, I can't remember the part name of the of actual tire changing table--it's been a while since I used one.
Note that tire mounting is something of an art, so you'll want to practice on some cheap tires and wheels to perfect your technique before tackling your Tesla wheels.
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