It's 7:12 at the Hawthorn Airport on Thursday, October 9th, 2014 (when did any Tesla event start on time). The techno/indie rock you might hear at Burning Man ends abruptly, and 5,000 individual conversations end awkwardly as the lights go out on the runways...it's a dark no fly zone - what lurks in the darkness? A loud, lonely cry of, "Princess Bonnie Rules!" Is quickly shushed by the half-giddy, 3/4 drunk and 90% high on the anticipation crowd of Tesla lovers. John Peterson, in camouflage and with a night scope, looks on like Carl Spackler from Caddy Shack as his Axiom powered detonator fails....ending his plan to bring Tesla to its knees.
At at the end of the runway, 2 headlights shine out like beacons of hope at the end of an oil slicked tunnel of darkness - the lights are followed in rapid succession by 2 more positioned slightly higher and to their right. Elon's disembodied voice, like The Wizard of Oz, says to the crowd, "It's about time to reveal the D!.....and the X! All my Tesla are belong to you!"
In deafening silence, the lights - like UFOs - streak toward the open mouthed crowd. As floodlights strobe to life, blanketing the runway, The ink black Tesla Model P85D and the equally obsidian Tesla Model X pull up....the doors open...revealing empty driver seats, begging to be filled by tens of thousands of drivers.
Elon saunters casually out of the Darkness, calls forward Princess Bonnie and hands over her Model X keys and..... fade - to - black. ...
Welcome to your future. This imagineering brought to you from the pulp fiction pages of Teslamotorsclub.com.