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I wish I could tell my car to stay 3 seconds behind the car in front instead of car lengths. It knows how far the car ahead of me is and it knows how fast Im going. I feel like that would be easy to do.

Adjust the Following Distance

To adjust the following distance you want to maintain between Model 3 and a vehicle traveling ahead of you, press the steering wheel's right scroll button to the left or right to choose a setting from 1 (the closest following distance) to 7 (the longest following distance). Each setting corresponds to a time-based distance that represents how long it takes for Model 3, from its current location, to reach the location of the rear bumper of the vehicle ahead of you.
 
If you set your car to 3, stay the HELL out of the left lanes.
Why? Are you only allowed to use the passing / HOV lane if you're following at a certain distance? I think not. The faster I go, the more space I want between myself and anything in front of me. I will concede that I rarely follow the "four second" rule, but I acutally tend to keep my car at a distance setting of 7 as it's comfortable for me and, yes, allows for room for people who need to be in the same lane as I to merge in ahead of me. I also keep right except when passing or when availing myself of the HOV lane.

If I am toodling along at 72 MPH behind another vehicle toodling along at 72MPH, anyone who cares more than I do about how much room I have ahead of me isn't thinking things through properly. And if folks to direct their cars into the room ahead of me, I don't mind slowing down to crate a new safety distance. "Better late than never" is never more true than in a two-ton metal box on a narrow strip of molded stone moving faster than humans were designed to handle.
 
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no, the gap for each number is variable based on speed.
Nothing you just wrote contradicts what I wrote. The gaps are time-based. The faster you drive the bigger the gap. That’s what time-based means. The gaps are based upon ½ second increments. A “1” is ½ a second. A “3” is 1.5secs. A “7” is 3.5secs. A 3.5sec gap is longer on the highway than it is on a city street.
 
Nothing you just wrote contradicts what I wrote. The gaps are time-based. The faster you drive the bigger the gap. That’s what time-based means. The gaps are based upon ½ second increments. A “1” is ½ a second. A “3” is 1.5secs. A “7” is 3.5secs. A 3.5sec gap is longer on the highway than it is on a city street.

I understand that but in my experience the gap doesn't correlate with nice intervals like that, it's something else. That said, it's changed a number of times over the year so it may in fact be currently time-based.