Sorry to read about wife getting injured... I just want to comment on "frame damage" and how I think it's less appropriate today than it was 50 years ago and so there's a much more limited issue with it. The term was derived in the days when cars were built on a frame and if the collision damaged the frame at one location it could have damaged the frame in other locations. It's much less so on unibody cars. In most cases the damage you see to unibody elements is where the damage occurred. Sheet metal bends and absorbs impact energy. Stiff "frame" built cars transfer energy and don't absorb or crush very well. It's still unlikely that "frame damage" to a unibody construction car will get repaired though. Likely it gets totaled. In Teslas the unibody is mostly rivet-bonded (at least in the crash areas I've seen in my experience). The specialized labor cost to repair that kind of damage easily goes in the tens of thousands. However, it is a valid repair if your "frame" gets repaired and you shouldn't have to worry about some overall, bent unibody that will cause future problems or that it's not as strong as before. Key body elements can be easily measured to determine a unibody is within correct position. Too strong or too stiff of a repair is also a problem as load travels through the stiffest member but if the repair is done per spec that won't be a problem.
And as others have written, carfax will screw you anyway if there's a repair so that has to be considered.
Yes, I realize that, but in layman’s speak, it got the point across to him. No matter what it LOOKED like after the body shop worked on it, it’s unlikely to come out within factory specs and tolerances as though it was a brand new, fresh unibody... bending, stretching, etc...all have effects. So it’s not going to perform in a future accident the way the manufacturer meant it to. No way to find out until it fails to perform, and at that point it’s too late.