I didn’t realize this at first but I am now becoming convinced that THEY are out to get my car, Lithie. Who are THEY? The ICE’s.
It started even before I got her. Some ICE saw my Lithie being transported on a carrier and became so envious of her sleek lines and beautiful color that it bribed the transport truck to set up a situation where the driver lowered the upper deck on to Lithie, "accidentally". Luckily, this was poorly planned and Tesla was able to fix her up making her just as beautiful as before the attempt.
Then another ICE, jealous of her silent speed and the public’s growing desire for her, threw something at her as we passed by putting a dent in her hood. At first, I thought the object had come out an apartment window. But as I mull this over more, I’ve come to believe that it was one of the ICE’s parked along the road that chucked this item into Lithie’s path.
Again this did not deter her. In fact she didn’t even realize THEY were after her. But THEY were about to up their game. Figuring they would give her a good scare and a scar to remember THEM by. THEY contracted with a camper up in Upper Michigan to “teach her a lesson”. As Lithie, drove across Upper Michigan enjoying the open roads and beautiful scenery, she was unaware of the approaching danger. And then it struck. The camper passed her going the other way and ejected a lug nut. The lug nut traveling at 70 mph, bounced off the side of the door. But once again Lithie had unknowingly outsmarted THEM. For unknown to THEM Lithie was protected front to back with paint armor. So, the lug nut, instead of doing harm to her paint, gouged the paint armor, missed her door handle, which was recessed, and bounced harmlessly to the road. A quick trip to Mark’s to replace the paint armor and Lithie was good as new once again.
But this was not the end. THEY had decided it was time to end it. So, THEY put a contract out on Lithie. Then last night in a coordinated attack, a minivan and a truck carrying constructions tools drove out on to Hwy 70 just west of St. Louis. The minivan positioned itself in front of Lithie between Lithie and the truck. This blocked Lithie’s view of the truck and prevented her from seeing what was coming next.
Out of no where. Flying over the minivan came a shovel. Not a small shovel either. But a large wooden handled square shovel. With concrete wall to the left and cars to the right, Lithie’s driver could do nothing but slam on the brakes. The shovel struck the road standing nearly vertical in front of Lithie and Lithie with no other options available struck the shove. The force of the impact split the shovel in two with both halves flying to either side of Lithie, thankfully. Lithie, however, did not come out unscathed. The shovel's handle dented the front edge of her hood and deformed the corner. The paint armor on her nose cone was no match for the shovel either and was completely scrapped from the nose cone, which suffered multiple abrasions. The front bumper escaped with only minor scrapes, most of which were absorbed by the paint armor. Unfortunately, though, the ¼ inch edge of bumper next to the nose cone that was not covered with paint armor suffered a direct impact and was excessively scraped. Luckily the car behind Lithie was not in on the plan and so braked avoiding a rear end collision.
Fortunately, the damage is not severe. Lithie will be repaired and the scars will no longer be visible.
But be warned. THEY are out there. And THEY are scared of our cars. And THEY will not go out without a fight.
Though, Electric will win in the end.
It started even before I got her. Some ICE saw my Lithie being transported on a carrier and became so envious of her sleek lines and beautiful color that it bribed the transport truck to set up a situation where the driver lowered the upper deck on to Lithie, "accidentally". Luckily, this was poorly planned and Tesla was able to fix her up making her just as beautiful as before the attempt.
Then another ICE, jealous of her silent speed and the public’s growing desire for her, threw something at her as we passed by putting a dent in her hood. At first, I thought the object had come out an apartment window. But as I mull this over more, I’ve come to believe that it was one of the ICE’s parked along the road that chucked this item into Lithie’s path.
Again this did not deter her. In fact she didn’t even realize THEY were after her. But THEY were about to up their game. Figuring they would give her a good scare and a scar to remember THEM by. THEY contracted with a camper up in Upper Michigan to “teach her a lesson”. As Lithie, drove across Upper Michigan enjoying the open roads and beautiful scenery, she was unaware of the approaching danger. And then it struck. The camper passed her going the other way and ejected a lug nut. The lug nut traveling at 70 mph, bounced off the side of the door. But once again Lithie had unknowingly outsmarted THEM. For unknown to THEM Lithie was protected front to back with paint armor. So, the lug nut, instead of doing harm to her paint, gouged the paint armor, missed her door handle, which was recessed, and bounced harmlessly to the road. A quick trip to Mark’s to replace the paint armor and Lithie was good as new once again.
But this was not the end. THEY had decided it was time to end it. So, THEY put a contract out on Lithie. Then last night in a coordinated attack, a minivan and a truck carrying constructions tools drove out on to Hwy 70 just west of St. Louis. The minivan positioned itself in front of Lithie between Lithie and the truck. This blocked Lithie’s view of the truck and prevented her from seeing what was coming next.
Out of no where. Flying over the minivan came a shovel. Not a small shovel either. But a large wooden handled square shovel. With concrete wall to the left and cars to the right, Lithie’s driver could do nothing but slam on the brakes. The shovel struck the road standing nearly vertical in front of Lithie and Lithie with no other options available struck the shove. The force of the impact split the shovel in two with both halves flying to either side of Lithie, thankfully. Lithie, however, did not come out unscathed. The shovel's handle dented the front edge of her hood and deformed the corner. The paint armor on her nose cone was no match for the shovel either and was completely scrapped from the nose cone, which suffered multiple abrasions. The front bumper escaped with only minor scrapes, most of which were absorbed by the paint armor. Unfortunately, though, the ¼ inch edge of bumper next to the nose cone that was not covered with paint armor suffered a direct impact and was excessively scraped. Luckily the car behind Lithie was not in on the plan and so braked avoiding a rear end collision.
Fortunately, the damage is not severe. Lithie will be repaired and the scars will no longer be visible.
But be warned. THEY are out there. And THEY are scared of our cars. And THEY will not go out without a fight.
Though, Electric will win in the end.
