I ordered and received in late March exactly what you are considering (though with the FSD) and I have absolutely no regrets. I’m more into function than style, and the higher range was a big factor me. In addition I want the added clearance when I take it on backroads and up to the mountains in the snow.
However, the 21” rims and brakes are gorgeous.
I don't notice the wheels on my MY but that’s ok. IMHO, The 19” wheels don't take anything away though they certainly don't add anything. I read that the smaller rims have a more comfortable ride, and that, amongst the other items discussed, was more important to me than the aesthetics of the 20” or 21” wheels.
The performance is astounding. My first Tesla and now I understand why so many on this thread profess it is a blast to drive. I live in the wine country (Sonoma County) and today just took a left (rather going on the freeway) and let the MY drive me home on back country roads. The latest software versions really helps the auto steer on these winding roads, as before, it did not slow down before the turns and now it does. It still drives like a novice driver but you can see it getting better with every software release.
I really like the lane change feature of the FSD, and I think, hope, that my investment will be rewarded as new capabilities are added. I feel like I am part of a grand science experiment. An expensive adventure admittedly, but again, no regrets.
The main reason I got the FSD and Performance package was because ten years ago I brought the wrong car. I wanted a low mileage Lexus 450H with AWD and red paint. I couldn’t find one, and after a while a red, two-wheel drive model showed up with only 16k miles and I jumped on it. I love the car, still have it, but I always have regretted not getting the technology I truly wanted when I prioritized aesthetics.