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2013 Model S won't boot up or drive after parked overnight

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Store a "bug report". I don't know if that works on older cars. On newer cars you can do a voice command: "bug report". The car is supposed to take a snapshot of it's systems and store it locally on the car. Unfortunately only the Tesla service guys have access to this report. Sorry this won't help right now or maybe even at all.
 
I'm just shopping around a little for tow prices. Barf. I'll update when I know more. I have a feeling Tesla will want to replace everything, it'll take 2 months, I'll pay a fortune, get the car back, and it'll malfunction almost immediately, and the only response from Tesla will be, "ship it back to us to take a look".
 
So I had the car towed today. Was a huge pain because I couldn't keep it jumped long enough to disengage the tow mode. Also it was missing the tow hook strangely so it got pulled up by it's front suspension. All in all super stressful and difficult just to get it on the truck. And extremely expensive.

Everything about this process is wrong. This isn't how any of this should be done. Shame on Tesla.
 
Everything about this process is wrong. This isn't how any of this should be done. Shame on Tesla.
I understand and sympathize with your frustration.

Honest question though - how do you think this should be done? The car clearly has some serious issues that need to be diagnosed in a service center. I'm presuming that service center has always been the same distance from you for the duration of your ownership - surely this sort of scenario was a risk that you accepted when you bought the car? Until very recently I was also 3 hours away from the nearest service center and I was pretty apprehensive about exactly this sort of scenario. My hedge was to buy the top tier AAA membership for $120 with 200 miles of towing. Thankfully I never needed it and now there's a new service center 30 minutes away.
 
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When I got the car customer service was white glove treatment. They'd send a mobile tech to my house to inspect, then arrange a tow, give me updates via phone and text, repair the car then hand deliver it back to me. All free at this point under warranty. This is before the Model 3 came out so there were very few Tesla on the road. Now they're overloaded with millions of Model 3 and Y and customer service has gone horribly downhill. They didn't plan their infrastructure for customer service and repair correctly.

At this point my city should have a service center. When Tesla say "service center", they mean a shop. Every smaller city has 50 repair shops. This isn't like some ultra high end tech facility. They're just small warehouses with a couple dudes who swap out batteries and stuff. It's much less high tech and fancy than you think it is if you've been to one. The mobile techs are literally a dude in a van with a couple parts and a laptop and Googles stuff like the rest of us.

At this point there should be a responsive and well equipped mobile technician service available in my city.

They should have a better customer service system in place, not a robo-app.

They should have more available parts and more affordable and timely repairs.

The vehicle should be much easier to tow if it isn't drivable.

The car shouldn't be dying at under 50k miles, serviced regularly, taken very good care of.

*Personally I think they should treat older owners with original factory cars with a little more customer service. These were hand built in the original factory before Tesla was successful. They're old, and fairly rare cars now. Especially my P85+. *

In my opinion they should have a human you can contact, a mobile tech to come out and inspect and if necessary help plan and prepare the car for towing, have better towing options, better communication through the process, and more affordable and timely repair options. This whole, go on the app, figure out your own towing solution, drop the key off in a box and wait for the app to send you a notification is just not customer service. For as big and wealthy as Tesla, they must do better, quickly.

I'm an old school fanboy and love my car. Won't buy another Tesla tho. Getting something else with a long warranty and a service center in town. Too old for all this hassle. I'm offended. Gotta take care of your OG fans Tesla.
 
I feel your pain, and even for an older S this is not very common. Tesla has learned a lot since the early adaptors like yourself and I am extremally happy with my M3.
Are you going to go back to ICE in stead of replacing the battery?
My co-worker waited 11 months to get his Y last month. Now the wait times are much shorter.
On a side note, i have had major engine problems on every ICE car I have ever owned. One car I blew the engine twice.
 
So the plot thickens..

I probably won't get many replies here and should start a new thread.

But they sent me an estimate for approval for a reman 85kwh pack for $15,000. I agreed. 3 weeks later they haven't communicated with me at all. But my invoice estimate is now $19,000...

It says they replaced suspension components, some cooling and hardware stuff. and a 90kwh pack...

Apparently it's the version C pack.

Reading other threads this is a brand new pack, not reman, and an all new version. It's supposed to be 90kwh but 350v as opposed to my old 400v pack?

So I should see similar performance and slightly more range, slightly lighter pack, more reliable, more consistent power throughout the SOC?

There doesn't seem to be a lot of info on this stuff and Tesla of course tells you nothing.

Anyone know about these new version C packs in old P85+ models and what all the differences are and what I might expect different?
 
So the plot thickens..

I probably won't get many replies here and should start a new thread.

But they sent me an estimate for approval for a reman 85kwh pack for $15,000. I agreed. 3 weeks later they haven't communicated with me at all. But my invoice estimate is now $19,000...

It says they replaced suspension components, some cooling and hardware stuff. and a 90kwh pack...

Apparently it's the version C pack.

Reading other threads this is a brand new pack, not reman, and an all new version. It's supposed to be 90kwh but 350v as opposed to my old 400v pack?

So I should see similar performance and slightly more range, slightly lighter pack, more reliable, more consistent power throughout the SOC?

There doesn't seem to be a lot of info on this stuff and Tesla of course tells you nothing.

Anyone know about these new version C packs in old P85+ models and what all the differences are and what I might expect different?

There are many posts on the 1014116-00-C 350v 90kWh pack. Think of it as a 100kWh pack with 14 modules instead of 16. Since you are paying, it should not be capacity locked and should give you ~297 miles range and a very nice charging curve and has a better build than your original one. I'm glad I have one.
 
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How much did they charge you for your 90kwh pack? It was fully unlocked no $700 paywall?

Do you get 297 miles of range now? wow! My 85 pack got me about 180-200 depending. But P85+ with ps4 tires is very inefficient.

Mine was replaced under warranty. It's a new 1014116-00-C, but it is capacity locked. My full range is 270 miles and I'm fine with that since it leaves me with a buffer ~7kWh buffer at the top, less stress to the cells when I fully charge, and a very fast charging curve.