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Blowing the Carbon Out

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When I was growing up in small town Ohio back in the days before mandatory seatbelts, my dad, on occasion, would take his Buick out on the best highway around and do lots of aggressive accelerations to, as he called it, "blow the carbon out".
I am trying to come up with an excuse to give my wife when I do aggressive accelerations in my Model 3. The best I have come up with so far is: "purging the stale electrons".
Can anyone else come up with something better?
 
This reminds me of rotary-powered Mazdas where you need to premix oil and fuel and rev the hell out of them all the time or the apex seals get carboned up and you lose compression.

And that reminds me of our owner's FD that can run maybe one hot lap at this point and then has to pit, lol. If it's not losing too much oil, it's having fueling issues. Good times. Good times.
 
I think the G forces push the lazy electrons to the back of the battery pack where they don't get in the way and slow down the car ;-}

That's also why you have to empty the battery occasionally. Otherwise those darn lazy electrons build up. It's like keeping the lazy electrons from joining a union and never leaving the cushy battery job their uncle got them!
 
[facetious and selected truth statement]
Everybody knows that old protons and electrons eventually lose their potency; it's one of the main reasons why batteries die even if you don't use them. (Neutrons have no direct cause or effect in the life or performance of a battery since after all, they're neutral and they don't like to get involved with anything other than hanging around with their proton buddies. Discussion of Quark is beyond the scope of this article other than to say he was the best thing about DS9.) The other main reason is heat. Batteries don't like to sit around idle all hot and bothered; we used to keep batteries in the frig to extend their shelf life back in the day. You have to get rid of those old electrons from time to time and replace them with newer versions that work better. Think of it in terms of employee turnover. You discover slackers in the office keeping the whole team under-performing. What's the solution? Yeah, you fire them and bring in some new meat.

Accelerating to high speed, in the shortest amount of time, achieves two goals: moving the electrons out of the battery by forcing them to flow out from the negative terminal (we're talking electron flow, not conventional current) AND cooling the battery by the wind rushing under the car. This MUST be done on a regular basis in order to keep the battery healthy and happy. (Bonus: It also keeps the car's operator happy too.) It's best to replace these old-and-tired electrons with new ones from an L2 charging source, although occasional use of Superchargers is allowed. L1 is not preferred since the electron flow is usually too slow and inefficient since the losses due to heating (friction of the new electrons marching down the crowed wire) is a greater percentage than if you used L2 charging.
[/facetious and selected truth statement]
 
[facetious and selected truth statement]
Everybody knows that old protons and electrons eventually lose their potency; it's one of the main reasons why batteries die even if you don't use them. (Neutrons have no direct cause or effect in the life or performance of a battery since after all, they're neutral and they don't like to get involved with anything other than hanging around with their proton buddies. Discussion of Quark is beyond the scope of this article other than to say he was the best thing about DS9.) The other main reason is heat. Batteries don't like to sit around idle all hot and bothered; we used to keep batteries in the frig to extend their shelf life back in the day. You have to get rid of those old electrons from time to time and replace them with newer versions that work better. Think of it in terms of employee turnover. You discover slackers in the office keeping the whole team under-performing. What's the solution? Yeah, you fire them and bring in some new meat.

Accelerating to high speed, in the shortest amount of time, achieves two goals: moving the electrons out of the battery by forcing them to flow out from the negative terminal (we're talking electron flow, not conventional current) AND cooling the battery by the wind rushing under the car. This MUST be done on a regular basis in order to keep the battery healthy and happy. (Bonus: It also keeps the car's operator happy too.) It's best to replace these old-and-tired electrons with new ones from an L2 charging source, although occasional use of Superchargers is allowed. L1 is not preferred since the electron flow is usually too slow and inefficient since the losses due to heating (friction of the new electrons marching down the crowed wire) is a greater percentage than if you used L2 charging.
[/facetious and selected truth statement]
I'm a middle school science teacher and this sounds like something I would tell the students because I was bored and wanted to know who was listening......