I was running late so I sent my girlfriend to pickup my car that was charging at a public ChargePoint station about 10 minute walk away. I gave her the key to the car but not the ChargePoint card. Up to this point, she had only seen me charge the car and had never actually done it herself. Not knowing that you're only supposed to push the button to deactivate the charge, she pushed the button when removing the j1772 charger from the car. When she pulled, the charging cable came detached from the adapter, but the adapter was still attached to the car. At this point, the only way to remove it was to swipe the ChargePoint card (which she didn't have at the time) or pull the manually release cable (which she didn't know about). Needless to say, I did not make it to my appointment on time.
I feel like clicking on the charge point door icon on the car's monitor should allow the adapter to be released in these cases.
In general it is no problem to remove the J-1772 without removing the adapter. It’s fine. The charge port will unlock in most cases. If not, you can use the app.
However, was she seeing the red Tesla T at the charge port, along with associated error messages on the screen about using the manual release?
If so, that is likely because the Chargepoint was still active when the cable was removed from the car and the car detected an irregular charging session end. In this case, in the past, it has locked the adapter to the car, and the in-car release does not work (manual release is the only way to remove it). This behavior may have changed in more recent updates; don’t know.
In any case, the solution is to push down on the button, wait for any noise to indicate charging session terminated, and then remove the J-1772 (otherwise if you remove too quickly, before current is shut off, it can create a short electrical arc and will give you the red Tesla T - I had that happen several times - but never since I started waiting a second after pressing the J-1772 release button).
Hard to know what happened here, but there is no issue just removing the J-1772 and leaving the adapter on the car (for a few seconds). I do it all the time. If it locks on you (might have happened in this case it sounds like), you have a couple ways to unlock it - from the display or the phone.
Also, you can drive with the adapter in the charge port. Not ideal, but I think it is very likely to stay in place. Not recommended, but certainly you can drive around the parking lot or on surface streets. The one time I was forced to valet my car it came rolling back with the adapter stuck to the port (and of course the message on the screen to not use the emergency door release handles).