She and my wife are from a family of gearheads. They love my S but I'll never hear the end of it if she has problems with her,
You have the answer right there, in the sentence above. Be honest with yourself, at least to some degree, what you’re seeking here is validation, not advice.
If what they want/need is a car, then stay away from recommending a Tesla; you will indeed never hear the end of it. If they absolutely must have an electric vehicle, then you can argue that Tesla’s capabilities and range may offset all the shortcomings and the pathetic quality.
My model 3 is coming close to having been in the shop for about half the time I’ve owned it. I just wasted yet another workday driving back to the service center to pick it up. I sat in it and happily breathed in the new car fumes as opposed to the stench in the model s loaner i’ve been driving for nearly three weeks. I had an approximately 14-item long list of issues, all of them of the “remedial manufacturing” variety. I drove off and within the first 50 yards I heard the same annoying squeak that had been “repaired” twice already. I turned around and gave them the car back. Good thing I did so as the newly-painted hood was now misaligned. My frieds are now joking that I bought a 3 so I can drive all these S and X teslas.
I took one of our other cars in for service last week-end and got a random loaner (a Q5). It was clean, no grime on the windows, didn’t reek of certain kinds of food, had 4k miles on the odo, not 50k, the doors actually opened when you touched the handle and it did not squeak like a yugo.
I personally can and (at least for now) choose to put up with the crummy tesla experince. If you think they would too, go ahead and recommend it. It’s probabbly wiser though to let them make their own choice.