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1. The fastest sedan I’ve ever owned - zero to sixty in 3.9 seconds
2. The 17” touch interface is mesmerizing
3. The car is always connected to the internet
4. Enough room for a surf board or skis in the car
5. The design styling rocks
6. The car firmware updates automatically over wire like an iPad or iPhone
7. Disappearing door handles (so cool)
8. Free super chargers
9. I can drive solo in the California carpool lanes
10. Stereo volume goes to 11
11. Internet radio with no need to pay Sirius XM!
12. Google maps in the console
13. An internet browser in the dash
14. Room for seven passengers
15. Free charging at the airport
16. No oil changes
17. Adjustable ride and steering – from land speeder to lazy-boy
18. Drag and drop sunroof
19. Full Panoramic roof
20. No state smog check
21. The car is silent
22. Rock star looks everywhere I go
23. California Rebate
24. Electric utility time-of-use rates save me over $200/month
25. Awesome customer service
26. No dealers involved in the purchase (suck it used car sales guy!)
27. Homelink garage opener detects when I am home via GPS
28. No hot greasy engine, transmission, muffler, or other 3,000 parts to break
29. 100% torque off the line
30. My kids will never need to know how to drive stick, or that transmissions had gears or transmissions ever existed.
31. Nobody ever has to sit on the hump
32. The key looks like the car (yeah, that is so cool)
33. WYSIWYG view of the car in the console
34. It is all digital - user experience is now software not hundreds of buttons, knobs and levers
35. The Tesla did to cars what Apple did to cell phones. Every other car is an old school flip phone now.
36. 300 Miles of range
37. Federal Tax Credit
38. Pause the radio. Skip a song. Resume song after returning to vehicle
39. Bluetooth music streaming from your phone
40. Hidden charge port (sneaky!) with cable lock
41. Walk away door locking. Walk up unlock
42. Personal delivery of the car to the house - classy!
43. No need to start or turn off the car. Just get in, just get out
44. Rear camera view anytime, not just in reverse.
45. It has a frunk for your junk instead of an engine that goes clunk
46. Twice the cargo volume as a BMW 5 series
47. I will never say “damn, the price of gas is high” again
48. I will never need the Jiffy Lube 27 point service. 23 points don’t even exist on the Tesla.
49. The only fluid is windshield wiper cleaning fluid.
50. Midas muffler shop? Aamco transmission shop? Yeah, you can also take them off the holiday card list.
51. Gas stations only exist for their bathrooms and snacks
52. Custom driver profiles - Like having a Wii Mi for the car
53. Every over-air update comes with release notes - that makes my inner geek so happy
54. Need new spark plugs? Radiator fluid low? Yep, those will be “olden days” stories our kids tell their kids.
55. Phone photos of contacts show up on the consoles
56. Album art displays on both consoles
57. Lose your Tesla? Use the mobile app to track it and “Find my Tesla”
58. Internet purchase, custom configuration and tracking through the factory
59. Tesla Rangers – will pick up car and deliver it to service (haven’t needed them yet!)
60. Tesla owners are fanatical and friendly – need a charge? Stop by for lunch.
61. It is designed and made in California
62. Every morning I have a “full tank”
63. Fit, finish and materials are meticulous – as good as Mercedes or BMW
64. Full size keyboard to type in a map address or browser URL
65. Brakes last longer, since most breaking is regen
66. Turn-by-turn navigation done right (multi-screen, birds eye view)
67. The car is intuitive
68. The headlights are badass
69. I can plug in a mouse and keyboard to my car. (Ok, not recommended)
70. Tesla customer service can do remote diagnostics, troubleshooting and hot-patch over the phone
71. People in Oregon are allowed to plug in their car themselves
72. Folding rear seats
73. All it really needs is a Flux Capacitor and they can call it done
74. Full charge at home in 3-4 hours and 45 minutes at a super charger
75. I can tweet from my seat isn’t that neat?
76. You know those snobby condescending smirks you get from Prius drivers going 35 in a 50? Yeah, now who is driving the gas guzzler?
77. I am no longer blowing 10 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere every year while driving
78. It is Motor Trend and Automobile Magazine car of the year
79. Out living large while getting a charge? Use the Tesla mobile app to track charging status.
80. The batteries are guaranteed for eight years and unlimited mileage
81. If every car was a Tesla then living next to Pacific Coast Highway would be quiet on a Saturday night
82. You know how you sometimes spill a little gas while pulling it out? Yeah, those days are done
83. I don’t miss the “Pump Station TV News”
84. You can read the New York Times from the console after driving three hundred miles, unless your name is Broder.
85. Bad spark plugs? Slipping fan belt? Yep, those hundred year old problems are history
86. Going downhill is strangely more fun and rewarding than ever before
87. Pairs nicely with Solar
88. My car knows my name
89. 1,000 miles on $40 of electricity
90. Oddly, everyone is quick to let you charge for free. I don’t ever remember anyone offering me free gas before
91. Movie scenes depicting heroic escapes from exploding cars will be a thing of the past
92. Mobile app remote climate control
93. “Whoa. What kind of car is that?”
94. Real-time energy consumption visualizations
95. Heated seats
96. LoJack? Yeah, that won’t be needed anymore
97. Real-time traffic via Google Maps
98. Just for laughs, pull into the full serve gas station and ask them to check the oil and filler’ up
99. Front row EV parking at the mall
100. Never buy gas again! (suck it OPEC!)
101 anyone?
Very personal, but yes.
My 101
in 1964 a song by Simon & Garfunkel was released, The Sounds of Silence.
Many have opined that it reflects the era of that time.
Assassination of John F. Kennedy or anti Viet Nam war sentiment.
For me. it was the lyrics -
"People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening,"
illustrating people's tendency to be apathetic towards each other. Communication is often only on a very superficial level, symbolized by the "neon god." In this world, no one dares to reach out to anyone else and disrupt the sound of silence.
And as it goes, maybe now they will listen.
Pollution of our only world is serious and Elon & Company dared to speak.
Their message of electrification sure has made some changes and continues to do so.
Tesla is a very disruptive move, and you can't help but feel, Moved, Motivated.
People are listening now and the apathy is crumbling. Drive a Tesla, feel the fun.
Revel in the New Sound of Tesla -
'Silence'
