I bought it and I own it and indeed across two separate vehicles with the same system I've observed exactly these problems. So I'm afraid your formula does not explain my results.
Sorry, I do in fact agree with most of the issues described by the OP -- so I agree with you. The difference though is whether these problems are bad enough to make EAP "not ready for prime time", or by inference, dangerous. I don't think they are that bad. I don't do much driving where EAP is helpful but when I do, I find it to be excellent even with the quirks. If I had not purchased it I suspect I would weigh the quirks much differently, and would think "I'll let someone else work out the bugs and then I'll buy it".