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They don’t do all cars at once. They usually start with a small fraction presumably as a last check for bugs. Some releases never go to the whole fleet. How they decide the order people get the release is unknown to us mere mortals.
No, you can check this site to get an idea what releases are being pushed out. Once you see large numbers of cars getting a new update you can expect your car to be receiving one soon.
No, It’s dangerous to send software upgrades to all cars at once. They would send to a small group first, if the software doesn't have a bug, it will be released to other cars.