Everyone has priorities.
Some people want a Tesla over a big house/apartment.
Some people want a Tesla over traveling.
Some people want a Tesla over sending their kids to college.
Some people want a Tesla and are willing to sacrifice eating Ramen noodles for the next 6 years.
Some of these are tongue-in-cheek, but you get the point. Even if the OP spends 20%-25% of his income on the Tesla, he can "afford it" if he's willing to sacrifice in other areas. He just doesn't fit the banks models of what a good debt holder looks like.
I'm not saying that spending $80-100k on a depreciating asset which will eat 25% of your discretionary income is a smart decision. i'm saying he can afford it and has his own priorities, and we shouldn't judge.
Advice and judgement are certainly different things. I'm just offering my humble opinion.
Here's some context. When I was 16, my grandfather purchased for me a reliable honda civic. Great car. The moment I graduated college in 2005, and got a job making $60k a year (in the bay area), I felt rich, and went and bought a $27k subaru impreza wrx sti. Great, great car. However, I had NO savings. I basically had $2k to my name at the time, the $5k I got selling my civic went into the down payment on my 9.99% (!) car loan, and I had $2k cash remaining. I had my income, sure, but over the next 2 years, I barely saved anything, I had $1200 in rent, bridge tolls every day, gas on a 50 mile commute, utilities, costs of living an early 20s lifestyle in San Francisco... By 2007 I had $10k, and about 20% of my car (now worth 18K), to my name.
After 2 years, I sold the car, and bought something practical - a ford escape hybrid, which was cheaper to own, got great gas mileage, had low service costs, tires lasted 60k miles instead of 20k, much cheaper maintenance costs overall, and allowed me to do my trips in the snow and mountains.
Looking back, I probably could have kept my civic another 8 years. I've done the math and I'd probably be worth about 30% more now. I would have had significantly more money to play with during the financial crisis, as an example. I remember wanting to buy SIRI at 8 cents, but not having any cash to do it. Check it out now. It was in 2012 that my income really stepped up, and that would have been a good time to think about upgrading the car as well.
I just see the OP stretching to make this car work, and that's how I felt with my Subaru. I had to stretch to make it work. After 2 years I was stressed out about paying $4.75 a gallon for premium gas on a car that got 17mpg (this was 2007). Life with a nice car is so much better when it doesn't cause stress. I wonder if this $1200 car payment, plus rent, will actually feel as stress free as the OP says it will, after 3-4 years of it?
The ironic thing for me is, I actually should have kept the '04 STi, as it's become somewhat of a collectors car and it worth about what I sold it for in 2007.