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Is there a way to 2 button reset without the wipers going nuts? EOM

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Not doing it wrong. I hardly ever use wipers and don't have auto wiper enabled. I'm telling you, 90% after the screens go blank, they go nuts for about 30 secs and then settle down.
Why do I need to do it so often? Freekin 12.1.2. In 5 years years of owning Teslas - this is the buggiest experience I have had. I'm starting to think I may need to have some diags done.
 
Sounds like it. That's a pretty major bug if your windshield wipers start going without touching the stalk in any way. I'd guess you might have a defective stalk assembly - the usual symptom is bad turn signal performance, but maybe you've got a different problem. Call service!