Need help getting my wife to understand

[Cr8it]

I have a new P90DL and a wife who doesn't like it. I am trying to determine how I can get her comfortable with the vhevcle and all of it's features. Any input, or suggestions? I may be doing something wrong. To give this a starting point, not getting rid of the wife (after 33 years of marriage....the car would go first). She loves fast cars. Her own is a Mercedes AMG, I moved from a Mercedes SL550 (which she loved). Here are issues:

1 - Seats are uncomfortable hard and flat compared to what she is used to. Can not imagine sitting in them for a long trip (we are doing a long trip in her ICE AMG that we were going to take the S on for this main reason (I find the seats comfortable).

2 - Seatbelts cut across her neck and can not be moved (this one I agree with. Can't figure out why Tesla made the seatbelt so that it could not be moved.

3. Hates that when she goes out to the car it is always locked (anyway to disable this so it stayed unlocked in the garage. That seems like such an easy thing to implement using gps.

4. Doesn't like when putting the car in park you have to push a screen button to have the seat and wheel to go into EXIT mode

5 - Afraid of Autopilot (thank you newsmedia).

6- When I use adaptive cruise control, she thinks the car approaches the car in front way to quickly and then slows down. Feels like it is not engaging (had this feature in the Mercedes and it was not as abrubt). I have it set at 7 which seems like it should start slowing much further back.

7 - She loves speed but hates Ludicrous. Tells me every time I engage it, she gets a headache.

8 - Can't figure out why I didn't get another sports car but purchased a sedan (something I have not owned for about 20 years). She thinks sedans are not fun cars.

9 - She does love the look of the car.

10 - So far she has refused to even try driving it.

Any input welcome...I want to get her to the point that she is at least comfortable to travel in it. We have always had a rule that we let each other pick the vehicles that we want without undue duress from the other. Over the years we have always ended up liking each other's car (she did not like my S550, and I could not stand her gutless Land rover Discovery).

 

[mblakele]

For the TACC and acceleration problems, have you tried setting regen low?

You can try two things about the seatbelt shoulder strap: raise the seat, or add something like Amazon.com: Bell Automotive 22-1-33240-8 Black Memory Foam Seat Belt Pad: Automotive

For walk-away locking, here's what the manual says:

Doors and trunks can automatically lock whenever you walk away carrying the key.

To turn this feature on or o, touch Controls > Settings > Vehicle > Walk-Away Door Lock.

Note: Depending on date of manufacture and options selected at time of purchase, some Model S vehicles are not equipped with the Walk-Away Door Lock feature.

Note: If all doors are closed and you use the key to unlock Model S, walk-away locking is temporarily suspended until the next time Model S powers on (such as when you press the Brake pedal to engage a driving gear), or until you use the key again to lock Model S. This allows you to keep Model S unlocked in your garage. ​

 

[mddmx]

How about ....

1. It's electric and you are saving the planet.

2. It's the fastest car on the market.

3. It's built in america!

 

[lolachampcar]

The key is driving it..... There are a lot of compromises moving from high end ICE to S. We have been trained over our lifetimes to value the minutia that is used by manufacturers to differentiate their offerings. Elon does not seem to give a crap about such stuff and thus it has been left out of S. It took me some time to acclimate, but I find myself sharing his feelings on the matter.

The place where S really made a difference for me was in the driving dynamics. The torque is there all the time at all legal speeds. This is like crack to a car enthusiast. If you're wife values something like an AMG product for its performance, a few days with all that torque, single pedal driving and lack of shaking, rattling, shifting, warming up fluids and the like should win her over.

 

[javawolfpack]

@lolachampcar beat me to it Was going to echo that she needs to give driving it a chance. The zero lag immediate power for merging, passing, etc is hard to beat.

 

[Jason S]

Seats will wear in with use. Other option is to get them re-upholstered.

Raise the seat height to help with the seatbelt, but I don't know of another option there.

Other method for #3 - store the fob next to the car in the garage. Then just need to activate the doors. I don't think there is a way to keep the handles extended though.

This car is much safer than a sedan. Huge crumple zones around the driver.

Driving feel is the main advantage to the Tesla and if she doesn't want to drive it then she won't understand.

 

[jelloslug]

Some people just want a big squishy Buick....

 

[NikeWings]

She's not a guy. There is no convincing her right now on technicalities; she'll need to ease in and get there on her own.
Acknowledge her concerns and offer to take her AMG on your road trip.

BTW, why use Ludy and ACC when she doesn't like them and its already a struggle to get her in the car?
Forcing anything on someone usually results in revolt....whether logical or not. Slow and steady wins this race.

PS - take her car to top off the tank for her one day, and then call her to come get you (pretend you locked yourself out or something).

 

[TaoJones]

Once she finds more to like about the car than dislike, all will be well.

Certainly there are opportunities for improvement with regard to the UI/UX as she's noted through your bulleted points above (for example, tying exit settings to shifting to Park). These will bubble up from a vast pool of input and eventually will make their way into the car.

As noted above, probably the biggest differentiators and triggers for adoption fall within the driving of the car. There is much to appreciate in what the car does *not* offer. Toxic smells (gas, oil), trips to the gas station 2-3 times a day whilst on the road, engine noise and vibration, lag, UI clutter (knobs, levers, clunky interfaces for the most part, the need to brake so much). But these "lack of" things do have to be experienced through, well, experience driving the car.

Solve that, and she may end up becoming a huge advocate.

Would add perhaps participating in local owners club events - there will be other women at those, and there's a good chance that they are already enamored with the car.

Good luck.

Edit: If this isn't resolved by next May, come to the 4th Annual Sound of Silence Black Hills Tesla Rally in Custer, SD. Search here at at TM (well, now just tesla.com/forum) for threads. Hang out with the faithful for a couple of days and with what will probably be close to 100 Model S/X. It's a special event at which a lot of people "get it", regardless of how long they've had a Tesla or how they feel about the pros and (few) cons.

 

[garygid]

Moving the seat back also helps the neck-seatbelt problem.

On driving, forget trying to use or teach all the features, especially steering assist.
Simple gsss (go, slow, stop, and steer) is all she needs to know to get comfortable.

Has she tried the lumbar adjustment?

 

[AudubonB]

Although my wife took to our Model S like a seal to the ocean, what I most strongly suggest to you is that you find a thoroughly-experienced WOMAN T-owner to be her cicerone.

Saith the Sage.

 

[Ciaopec]

I met a guy at a supercharger. His wife had told him to" go buy your silly, stupid, battery powered electric car". After some interval of time she had to use the Tesla. He related this on they way home from picking up a new Tesla FOR HIMSELF! She had commandeered the original for herself. Where is that guy with the secret to spousal acceptance when we need him?

 

[valkeriefire]

You can solve issue 3 and 4 at the same time by creating another driver profile called "Exit" or something. Set the seats back, the steering wheel up and turn off "walk away door locks". Then just switch to this profile when you are in the garage. The only con to this is you can't use this profile in a parking lot unless you remember to manually lock the car. Using this solution or the one proposed by mblakele is your best bet. Both have good reasons for doing them.

My wife loves the Model S. It truly is the best car you can own. Plus you're saving the planet. There is a "coolness" factor to the Model S that no other car has. Lamborghini, Porsche, Maserati, etc, they are all great cars, but none of them are changing the world. By owning a Tesla, you become an emissary for the future. I've sold several model 3s, told dozens of people about the supercharger network, and convinced more than 1 person that Tesla will be a $400 stock as long as the Model 3 production gets up 400k/year by 2018. People want to talk about your Tesla, you don't even have to try, it just flows! It's an instant conversation point. My personal line is "I believe how you spend your money is more important than how you vote. By buying a Tesla, I'm voting for clean energy, and I'm voting against big oil and the major manufacturers who have forsaken innovation in exchange for profit." This line works great with working folks who may think you spent way too much on your car, but they respect that you put your money where your mouth is. Not sure if your wife cares about any of those things, but if she does, then owning a Tesla is like being a rep for saving the planet. They go together so well.

 

[timber107]

Install a vibrating seat.... oh, maybe not, or she might get rid of you

 

[RogerHScott]

Which kind of seats do you have? I, and my family, find that the next-gen seats are among the most comfortable we've ever driven
in. Not in a squooshy-couch kind of way, in a transport-your-body-long-distances-and-leave-you-feeling-great-at-the-other-end kind
of way.

Regarding #3, have you experimented with both settings? Does she not carry her fob with her so that the car auto-unlocks as she
approaches? I'm having a little trouble visualizing the problem here, based on my family's experience.

In #4, is the problem having to do anything at all to get into "exit mode", or is it the multiple steps? A non-obvious solution to the latter
(that was suggested by ingenious person on this site a while back) is to create a dedicated Exit driver profile. Then you're two "clicks"
away at any time.

#6 -- as suggested previously, try a lower regen setting. The full regen takes a little getting used to, and for those not used to
regen it is easier to work up to it. You can, of course, just do this in your wife's driver profile.

#7 -- You: "Doctor, doctor: it hurts when I do this." Doctor: "Don't do that"

#10 -- Not even at your test drive? For most people, once is enough to get them hooked. By hook or by crook, 'cause without
this the other things probably won't get you there.

 

[RogerHScott]

Which kind of seats do you have? I, and my family, find that the next-gen seats are among the most comfortable we've ever driven
in. Not in a squooshy-couch kind of way, in a transport-your-body-long-distances-and-leave-you-feeling-great-at-the-other-end kind
of way.

Regarding #3, have you experimented with both settings? Does she not carry her fob with her so that the car auto-unlocks as she
approaches? I'm having a little trouble visualizing the problem here, based on my family's experience.

In #4, is the problem having to do anything at all to get into "exit mode", or is it the multiple steps? A non-obvious solution to the latter
(that was suggested by ingenious person on this site a while back) is to create a dedicated Exit driver profile. Then you're two "clicks"
away at any time.

#6 -- as suggested previously, try a lower regen setting. The full regen takes a little getting used to, and for those not used to
regen it is easier to work up to it. You can, of course, just do this in your wife's driver profile.

#7 -- You: "Doctor, doctor: it hurts when I do this." Doctor: "Don't do that"

#10 -- Not even at your test drive? For most people, once is enough to get them hooked. By hook or by crook, 'cause without
this the other things probably won't get you there.

 

[S4WRXTTCS]

#1 - Valid, but I don't have this issue. I love the next-gen seats.
#2 - Valid, but I don't have this issue. I do think the design is complete crap, and whoever designed it the way they did needs to be flogged. There are workarounds. I have to do one of them for my mom because it hits her on the neck.
#3 - Can be fixed with a simple settings change by disabling automatic locking. There is funny story about an uber driver who left this setting on only to get locked out of his own car.
#4 - I just don't see the problem with this, but I don't use exit profile
#5 - It's better to be afraid of it when starting out than not afraid.
#6 - This just takes time getting used to it
#7 - Some people are sensitive to it. Can't do much about it.
#8 - It's a different kind of fun.
#9 - Agree
#10 - A bit weird especially when she likes fast cars, and if she had a list of things she hated why wouldn't she want to add to the list by driving it?

In the end I wouldn't bother trying to make her like the car. People like what they like, and there isn't any point in trying to change that. I also don't think she has to like it for you to keep it. At least you don't have the problem of her taking it all the time, and leaving you stuck with the I.C.E. Driving it is everything, and if she doesn't drive it she'll never know.

 

[Don85D]

Our Tesla is the centre of attention and questions whenever we park in public it so let your wife be the one to explain the features and functions. If it is always your topic of discussion she may feel left out. It's her car too, right?

It's a small change that may solve your problem.

 

[Petra]

1 - Seats are uncomfortable hard and flat compared to what she is used to. Can not imagine sitting in them for a long trip (we are doing a long trip in her ICE AMG that we were going to take the S on for this main reason (I find the seats comfortable).

Yeah, the seats are pretty hard (in my case, made worse by not having much of a butt)... That said, I've found that experimenting with leg/foot position, seat height, and seat angle can result in finding a seating position which removes pressure points and makes the firm seats a lot more tolerable.

2 - Seatbelts cut across her neck and can not be moved (this one I agree with. Can't figure out why Tesla made the seatbelt so that it could not be moved.

My wife is 5' 3/4" and the seatbelt doesn't cut across her neck--it all comes down to seat position. These seats are super adjustable, but you have to have the patience to sit there and fiddle with them.

3. Hates that when she goes out to the car it is always locked (anyway to disable this so it stayed unlocked in the garage. That seems like such an easy thing to implement using gps.

As mentioned, it is possible to set up an exit profile for garage parking that disables auto lock but it's not an ideal solution. My wife and I always have fobs in our pockets, so this is never an issue. Also, people keep their cars unlocked in their garages? Weird.

4. Doesn't like when putting the car in park you have to push a screen button to have the seat and wheel to go into EXIT mode

I can't really think of a solution to this one other than pointing out that it may be possible to find a suitable seating/driving position that makes an exit mode unnecessary... and, while this approach works for myself and my wife, I realize that it may not be comfortable or feasible for all people. Tesla could easily implement an auto exit mode enable/disable setting via a software update but, as of yet, such a feature hasn't been pushed out.

5 - Afraid of Autopilot (thank you newsmedia).

It's not on unless you turn it on--don't like the concept, then don't use it. Autopilot's current implementation falls into the category of a "teamwork mode" level of driver assist. Thinking of, explaining, and demonstrating the system from that frame of reference may help ease her concern. Ultimately, the driver is always in control.

6- When I use adaptive cruise control, she thinks the car approaches the car in front way to quickly and then slows down. Feels like it is not engaging (had this feature in the Mercedes and it was not as abrubt). I have it set at 7 which seems like it should start slowing much further back.

This is a totally legit concern, as TACC does tend to "brake" late, as it were, and it can occasionally give up when approaching stopped traffic with too high of a closing speed. It also relies on the friction brakes more than is really necessary, but I think that goes back to the system's limited range and inability to react to anything other than the car immediately in front of you. TACC also tries way too hard to get back up to speed the moment the car in front of you changes lanes, even if it's just to apply the friction brakes a moment later as the next vehicle in line enters its detection zone or whatever. I really do like TACC, but it is far from perfect.

7 - She loves speed but hates Ludicrous. Tells me every time I engage it, she gets a headache.

Regardless of whether one loves speed or not, some bodies just don't cope well with acceleration that peaks at ~1.1 g (and it's probably the rapid spike in g load more than anything). She's certainly not alone in experiencing negative physical effects from the acceleration these cars produce--even my 70D makes some of the people I know feel ill when launched from a stop. If it makes her uncomfortable, then be considerate and don't do it while she's in the car.

As for the other issues, my wife's take is that she may be more upset at you having bought the car than the car itself...

 

[Cr8it]

Install a vibrating seat.... oh, maybe not, or she might get rid of you

Actually believe it or not., the sl550 that the S replaced had seats that gave 4 different massages. She does miss that feature.