I think my needs (about 60-80 miles daily in Gilbert-to-Scottsdale-Chandler, AZ on US-202 and US-101) will be met with an AWD LR, but for about $11K more, the Performance trim looks tempting.
I'm not from Arizona...but I've been there a lot.
I have a Performance.
As someone else said, if you're not planning on snow, and Tesla is still building LR RWD vehicles (would need to order "off-menu"), then consider that if you don't need the AWD. It's super-efficient. (However, I have no idea whether they are still building these vehicles to order.)
(1) On the Tesla web site, the 18-inch wheel option for the Performance trim is greyed out. Is this possible to get this option?
No, it's not possible in the US anymore. The 20" wheels are a concern for potholes. The tires on the 20" Performance model also reduce the range due to their extra stickiness. The tires are excellent, and incredibly expensive.
(2) On the other hand, I am wondering if I l would lose any braking performance by staying AWD. I do care about this number from safety perspective [my wife would drive this car too].
Yes, you will lose stopping power. The braking distance 60-0 is ~105 feet with PS4S tires, and ~125 feet with MXM4 18" tires. To be clear, it is the tires, not the brakes. The brake "feel" - nothing to do with stopping power - has been reported to be different too (this is due to the Performance brake pads & calipers presumably) - so if you care about that, take the test drive offered above - I tend to think it's not worth 10s of thousands of dollars (or whatever the price difference is) though, especially since you could just play around with different types of pads if you really wanted to!
It's a tradeoff - the PS4S tires handle and brake really well, but they cost you range and they cannot be used in freezing/snowy conditions. So if you're planning to go above the Mogollon Rim in winter time, you will need a separate set of wheels if you get the Performance. It's worth adding at this point that the Performance brake rotor hats also pose annoying (but solvable/solved) fitting issues when it comes to fitting aftermarket rims due to the "lip" - it limits your choice of wheels to some extent - not a big deal but you should know about it.
Basically, if all you care about is lowest cost and you don't need AWD, and you don't care about blistering acceleration,
I would see whether it is possible to get an LR RWD vehicle, and then just buy a second set of wheels & tires for it (with PS4S rubber) if you want the lower braking distance. Again, that will hurt the range, but you'll still have a very efficient vehicle, and it will handle really well.
Remember the LR RWD is MUCH more efficient than the AWD. It's really fantastically efficient and has excellent range. It isn't slow - but it is slower than the AWD, just like the AWD is slower than the Performance. It's still faster than most other vehicles on the road and you can position yourself in traffic however you would like due to the instant acceleration.
I just looked in the "ordering" forum. It looks like there is a wait-list of people who have ordered LR RWD vehicles. Tesla apparently builds them in batches, so you would have to wait for the delivery, but it looks like you can get one...eventually. I don't know exactly how the cost compares to the AWD, but I think it's ~$5k cheaper (check the other thread, probably in there somewhere...or talk to Tesla).
Rough "order of magnitude" for range on these vehicles with 100% charge:
LR RWD - 320 miles
AWD - 300 miles
Performance 260 miles
These are APPROXIMATE numbers, and can be A LOT lower or higher depending on your speed and conditions. And they will change if you put sticky tires on them. Anyway, the LR RWD in particular can really stretch to some fantastic range numbers in the right conditions.