FIXED- I’ve now fixed this issue. I booked in with tesla service, but called into the service center before my appointment, one of the techs mentioned I could check what is coming out of the rear control module… tesla did a remote diagnosis and they also thought the rear ECU was faulty, but as I’d already swapped the rear ECU, I didn’t want to just keep guessing (especially at my expense now the warranty is out)….
So, I went into the tesla service portal…
service.tesla.com
Downloaded and printed the connector and wiring diagrams for my model (all free to anyone)….. I could see that connector X078 left the rear ECU and went straight to the trailer plug X275 under the back bumper next to the tow bar….
I disconnected X078 only, the trailer icon went out…. tested all the pins for continuity, they were all fine…. I gave the loom a pull everywhere I could access it (just to check for pressure faults), then plugged it back in and hey-presto the icon stayed out!
I’m not sure if I released any pressure/wiring faults when I was tugging the loom, or if just unplugging X078, and leaving X073 plugged in made the difference, but the fault has 100% now gone, and I don’t need to take the car in for service….
I’ve plugged a trailer in and the blue dash light automatically comes on as it should, and also fully goes out (not turns amber) when I unplug the trailer
I think it was either the trailers earth fault that caused the wires between the rear ECU and tow plug to fault, and that I freed the fault by pulling the loom and clearing the fault, or that you just need to plug x073 to the rear ECU in and wait for it to boot up before plugging x078 to the trailer plug in…..
I’ll update the YouTube video and also post some pics on here, but I am so pleased it’s sorted…. Total cost was £110 for a rear ECU, a load of time, and many swear words lol