I don't know what I would do in your situation. I have to confess, getting the message from the Tesla location last Friday for pickup on this Friday did largely put my mind at rest. If I was in your shoes and still not finding anything out, I think I would have cancelled by now - there's no way they shouldn't be able to give you some specific details about where it is and what next steps are. Mind you, I chased mine today, and was told that completion is still Friday, but the vehicle has yet to make it to their delivery hub yet, so they are chasing with Logistics. So no confirmation, but no cancellation either.
I am completely with you that incompetent is the word. I am amazed that with less than 48 hours to go (assuming I could get a morning collection slot) they just don't know. I will however be in your boat if they cancel Friday and can't give me an alternative. Just how long does one accept being treated like an idiot?